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| Thursday, November 19, 2009 |
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I dreamt.
and i saw my A level results slip...
Oh gosh, failed one course on some Regional Southeast Asian studies (LOL),
GP.
GP..........
there was no pass or fail.. but some comments like.. "not true". In the sense that my answers had not been true... Humph...
I have worried about it day and night and it is the only issue that tugs at my heartstrings...
Well, if you know ay.starsplash, you would know that my worries are genuine no matter how well my results might turn out afterwards.
The teacher handing me the resulst slip was Ms Lew, my form teacher for 4 years in secondary school. Not Mr Yee, ironically...
But I'm trully consoled that it had been Ms Lew and none other ... :)
Life's too unpredictable, I have some plans in mind, I shall wait till the time is right... =) |
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| simplicity's chase; 12:12 PM |
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| Tuesday, November 17, 2009 |
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I cant believe it, i was actually trying all the combinations in the search bar for someone's blog!!!
i wonder why i had done that, when there isnt really much time for such, and it really didnt matter anymore.
I'm gonna receive my NYAA Silver award on Thursday,
I wished Mr Siva was aware, and be very proud of me, of this GirlGuide Amksian :)
tata-
ay.starsplash |
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| simplicity's chase; 5:24 PM |
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| Saturday, October 3, 2009 |
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PROBABLY
the only anticipation i have is A380!
2 more months, i can be onboard, ii love the cutesy aircraft meals, where once i glimpsed upon a dark ocean of stars bejewelled, somewhere over the MiddleEast..
2 entire months more. Just 2 more to go, AY.
1/10/09
It is depressing flipping through the papers, like an article i have come across, the author commented that the newspapers reflect mainly the tragedies and unfortunate encounters, of sins and crimes and calamities.
This morning, on 3 consecutive pages of newspapers were that of the Sumatran Earthquake, Samoan Island Tsunami, followed by typhoon Morakot in the Philippines. It is a fact that these disasters are surfacing simultaneously, or even in conjunction with each other, preceding the warnings of global warming, rising temperatures, blahblah... everyone's daily bread news.
You know what? I brought my own recyclable bag to NTUC with mum to shop. It was a great achievement for me, if it seems like a trivial act to you... For i had to muster courage and determination to really pick up the flimsy, inconspicuous bag from behind the door collecting dust, out. I'm very proud of that.
I felt the tremors, on both days, i alerted mum immediately that there was an eathquake, and my nose soured. Teardrops exuded. I wonder how i would cope if i were really at the scene in Padang, Indonesia. It would have been the end of the world for me.
It has been my wish to be a volunteer for RedCross after A levels. But there's an issue hindering me. I cannot take in the sorrows the way they are. Reading the papers, of all the people perished and those still unaccouunted for, i felt sick, and i felt like a weakling reading the papers. Because i am scared. I have a phobia of death, I will cry, seeing the villagers wail in despair. I will fall and cry with them.
I doubt my capability very much in having to overcome this obstacle. But i will try.
I wished the world would stop moving, to let the deprived, grief; give others a chance to grasp the simplicity nature bestows. And allow the living to reflect on their actions and goals.
I live, not to regret. |
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| simplicity's chase; 8:39 PM |
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| Monday, September 28, 2009 |
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Sometimes, its merely my own over-the-moon expectations yeah...
ay. |
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| simplicity's chase; 10:32 PM |
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| Saturday, September 26, 2009 |
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Hey! click on the crosses 'XXXXX' at the end of the picture for the links alright.
"i've tried my best, tell me its not enough. tell me i need to buck up. Sometimes, i really wonder if its taking a toll on my body, or, if this, is the answer to perseverance. when i sacrifice sleep, to make up for the little of what (time) i lose and slipped past of during the day..."
"i feel fine. i dont know if my body is Alright. fatty arms, pimple outbreaks, eyebags. and i tell myself its only till - the end. and then i question when, i might collapse. if i might. like i'm merely an empty shell trying to contain everything within.
like Baldy has said, ' Sleeping would become a luxury.' maybe i'm just walking in a trail of perception, believeing his words do materialise."
"so, is this simply part and parcel of life?"
They tell me i'm placing great pressures on myself, how, how not to when i'm
so so far behind my peers? its Greeny friends that really make-things-right. when i really broke down after the exams, when my tears couldnt consume itself and i struggle to restrain those outbursts, that wednesday, randy bro and huiru were there, to tell me truths that make sense, to just stand there with me.
You know where? Its the fencing at the atrium, looking upon the field; where red eyes were no big deal, and the field was ours to see.
You know it. When just 1 thing they say and you believe it immediately.
Like no other.
Have you experienced this miracle?
I dont know how i were to survive in NYJC without them, seriously.
i might not do well. but then , rest assurred i would put in all my very best for whatever else to come, i would.
I'll work harder. I'll push on.
with that constant bit of encouragement.
and i want you to know that i dont emo anymore - anymore. Its called breaking down now; from sudden fluxes of outpouring of desperations, if, you would ever try to think like i do...
Labels: Not, ours to see. |
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| simplicity's chase; 12:44 AM |
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National Day in NY is so mundane... and with the 'stuttering' national day songs being played on weekday mornings... today there was simply -no mood man- !
its one of the least joyous celebrations I've ever had... its such a wet blanket when i earnestly anticipated to relax in the congested hall watching performances this day... humph...
its okay, next year's will be better!!!
Out for lunch with my best pals from greeny gang, simple lunch, but it had been great! =)
even though there's something wrong with me, as always...
Its alright, BRACE UP ANNA YEO, YOU CAN DO IT!
and i'm motivating myself you know! =)
I'll make this national day happy, for its the only day in the year I'm 100% patriotic, and i love it! =) haha!
love, ay// |
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| simplicity's chase; 6:39 PM |
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My dear Bio teacher, You toy blatantly with my self esteem.
First you threw 8 words at my face;
The words that stabbed at my heart,
my mental-structure collapsed all at once in grounds of NY.
Now you tell me never to lose faith in myself.
Faith.
Its this faith, that i have been struggling to recapture.
Its immensely tedious and difficult having to
Muster all my courage to rebuild the faith.
And everytime the foundation fails, i cry in desperation.
Its so so tedious i wonder how more will I have to break down, helpless at my incapability to be strong.
I've even drawn up my personal Motivation Poster,
"BRACE UP, ANNA YEO!", splatterred with stars.
That is the minimum i can do.
when every sentence of my teacher lies an obscured connotation.
YOU TOY WITH MY SELF ESTEEM.
Do not break me.
I'll collapse.
I'm trying very hard.
Believe me, I'll rebuild that faith.
And mum is really backing me up this crucial period.
Thank you mmumy.Labels: i know it, you toy with my self esteem |
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| simplicity's chase; 8:37 PM |
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