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Saturday, August 4, 2018

motivation

Saturday, August 4, 2018
Some thoughts from Week 6 that are waiting to be worded and pondered upon.

At a course this week, we were asked "What is the happiest thing that you have experienced recently?"
In truest truth and honesty, I couldnt think of any.

Not that I aint happy this entire period of time, but rather, I have kept my life in a state of consistency and routine, the best way that I can manage life; and I think im coping well thus far.
Nothing that made me exclaim or jump in joy or smile super widely but just, life's simple pleasures.
Although my response to my colleague sounded pathetic. Haha!

Today, I realised that intrinsic motivation is very powerful and significant to me.  For me, words of afirmation or encouragements that I receive have minimal impact.  Ultimately, it is me myself who has to rise up and deal with the issue and handle it myself and I.
So the previous night, I do not know what struck me that I went to search for some tumblr picture quotes of the words that I have INSIDE MY HEAD. and printed them out Today in school! Heehee.
I felt happy doing it - printing, cutting and decorating my workdesk.
And these are words that I think would help me tide through difficult times, and words that hold true to me.



On hindsight, BF told me the exact statement before. To 'take it easy'. But it didnt resonate in me at all until today. When I learnt that I NEEDED THIS. and then SEARCHED for the phrase and PLACED IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.

It worked! I was less annoyed while marking horribly done test papers.  I was more lax with myself.  Took things one breath slower.

I think its working!

Another colleague who noticed the black speech bubble commented that he admired me for my convictions and I suppose, my guts to display such a statement at my desk.

Interesting comment!  It is my desk and I display what represents me.  I hold the belief that if I have done my best and fulfilled my duties, I have nothing to hide.
I think Im strong headed this way.
Sometimes while walking home, I wonder if I am too FULL OF MYSELF.
I hope people around me will continue to remind me to be grounded and humble when I get carried away.

Also, another colleague commented that my highest character value of 'Judegment' ffrom a viacharactersurvey was not suitable for me.  He said that I was too young to be judegmental.  People my age should have curiosity, to be adventurous and try new things and seize opportunities.  Older people who have gained more life experiences would then be judgemental in life.
Judgemental in the sense that I can evaluate situations well, make the right decisions and form firm opinions.
Felt a tinge offended.
I think that it is a value that not many people might have, and if my decision would not affect anyone (such as causing people to be upset), I think that it is a good decision and I know my priorities exceptionally well.  Would not trade it for something else.

That's all.  My sleepy thoughts for Week 6.
Next week is exciting! :D

Tata~

P.S. Still broke out in tears again this Term / Semester 😒 over the bane of my career - exam papers. But coping much better than in the past. Theres an improvement! πŸ˜ƒ

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