Okay its reflections day again! Haha I think students dread hearing the word 'reflections'. :p
It has been 30 months in my first and only relationship. Things have been difficult this year. Prolly the differences between us have surfaced and we have to deal with them all. And the need to face all these trouble soon so that future plans in the making can materialise.
In today's episode, I learnt that
I cannot proclaim that 'I know that' and 'I told you already' anymore. Sobs. These two phrases are merely my truthful responses and thoughts but I will have to censor them now. Sighs. So difficult.
Maybe I should not have been that truthful in my words.
Secondly, I am confused about an act. I cannot accept to be pushed however lightly in fits of anger ever again. To be honest, I am unsure if I am against it because I discovered that it may be a deal breaker for me OR rather, just the fact that the act isnt right in any interactions. I dont think I will cry. I think I might end up retaliating and it becomes a typical drama episode. haha.
Regardless, some things have been imprinted in me. Im blogging about it to remember it because I have never felt and experienced this before. A part of me is wary that as time goes by, there might be more angry incidences and actions may intensify. Nudges my decisions once in awhile. Its frustrating.
I asked people, How much time do they need to reset their emotions?
I need a lot of time to reset my frequent episodes of whirlwind emotions. Sighs. But I dont have much time.
I think sometimes I just shouldnt say too much, be overly expressive and gotta regulate my actions. Its tedious being me... Haiz.
Haha. Havent had the need to change myself in a long long while. How?
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