Sam Willows is singing my song.

What do people do, when things become too difficult to handle?
Im so tired. Its too difficult. Its sucking all my evening energy after work.
I think we are in some sorta trouble...

My life has been a constant. Family. Work. Goals. Saturdates. hmmm. Nat Geo?
So when things happen, I take much time to switch gears and settle down. I take it hard too, btw.
Because changes tilt my life like a unbalanced balancing scale.

There's so much that I need to think about and every evening seems like a dread this week...
It would have been better being busy at school to keep my mind off things.
Its so difficult.

That night, I was overwhelmed and sobbed so much I woke up the next morning contemplating to take MC cos of my puffy goldfish eyes. You didnt know that, did you?
I massaged my eye with great pressure to depuff it. And it was class phototaking day haha... but whatever la.

You can doubt me. But dont make me doubt myself. I think things through very deeply what I desire. Like how I make several trips and take days to decide on purchasing a piece of clothing.

Recently, I plucked up my lazy ass to resume my workouts. Today's workout was quite intense. I was annoyed that mum shook my beloved bottle of kueh bolu snack so now its full of crumbs. So angry in the moment. But after a (long) while, I think back and its like whatever, forget it. But the gist is that. I get angry and very angry in the moment of situations. I get angry for a reasonable amount of time. Sleep usually extinguishes it.
Oh I digressed. Back to workouts. I wonder why I force myself to workout so dreadfully at times. I could just relax at home and pamper myself with rest.  Maybe, I needed to keep in shape so that I will still be loved by others. So that I can fit into pretty AY style clothes and feel good, make others good beside me too. AY style clothes - needed to colour this term to empahsize that my style is different from them all. So superficial, these thoughts I know. But they could be true...

Too difficult to even approach our issues and open a whatsapp chat. Am I escaping? But Im so tired.

Sam Willows is singing my song.