I have very high expectations of myself.
Things I do must be efficient and perfect - to my standards.
I am not a perfectionist. As long as it is done well and does not tarnish my image at
work, Im fine.
But today, I learnt of a mistake Ive made early in the morning. It had been a stressful night, panicking about ThursDAY and then early at 730am, I learnt of my mistake in the test paper that I have set and I was ultra embarassed and apoloegetic.
I made a mistake. In a test paper which was over. So the students had panicked in class and a senior teacher came to tell me my boo-boo.
A forgivable mistake, they said. But still.
I made a mistake.
If not for the morning bell
Which summoned me to the parade square for daily singing of the nation and attire checks like a policewoman, I would have cried. Eyes red like tomatoes.
HOD told me before that if I wanted to attain my aspirations, I cannot make mistakes. Especially in the exams.
I have tried very hard
To be the best that i can be.
(Sounds like my alma mater's motto.)
To maintain my track record but then I made a mistake and its made known.
AY who seemed to be so dignified and confident of her ways.
I think my disappointment was written all over my face along with my apologetic email which made the senior teachers worry. They came to me to encourage me and affirm me that it is totally alright, as it was a genuine mistake everyone else might have made...
It is my personal expectations to do well and this incident made me feel lousy.
Felt like I let myself down.
It was a terrible morning.
ThursDAY eventually became better.
I still hold my hopes high but I cannot make such silly mistakes ever again.
It has been a difficult week.
Do you know how hard I work?
I think putting in effort to tune my mindset for each day and dateline is the toughest part of it all.
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