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Tuesday, October 15, 2013

Tuesday, October 15, 2013
Are you religious? Do you believe in superstitions?
Today I visited Uncle again and he was in such a fuzzy state of mind he didn't respond to any of us but kept fidgeting on the bed and mumbling indecipherable speech.
And then, some aunties came and told us not to interrupt him or to talk to him in his mumbling stupor. Because... he might be communicating with the invisible. Well, aunties with a strong faith believe so, and it was no point refuting whatever that humans have no conclusive theory for.  I imagined grandma and others speaking with him, guiding him, uncle repenting, explaining things to him... and I respected that moment.
But if I didn't believe in it, he was still so fuzzy until aunt awoke him up to force him to have his dinner of a mashed nutritious gruel... He could not eat at the beginning regardless of the amount of patient coaxing by more than 5 people. and then all of a sudden, as though he just came back, he could look at us and ... and... I don't know how to describe. it just felt like he came back to consciousness of this world.
It scary to think of the content of his mumblings, to who? in his own mind? But I wasn't afraid being next to him. My helpless uncle who has become so dependent... Where did the strength that you beheld quite a while ago disappear to?

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