I came online,
intending to delete the previous post.
thought it was a moment of stress and pressure, nowhere to go
thought it was PMS, but it has come...
last night mugging, no, studying
it came again.
the torrents almost teared.
but. i had no time to cry
I had to stuff the knowledge in.

I had intended to delete-that post
but when i read it again
it made all the sense in the world
this scary feeling hasnt gone
and now what?
what if i get retained?
and today i got to rest till now.
but.
what if i get retained?
i will go poly.
but before that i'd cry my heart out.
i already am these few days.
the... 'foreshocks'.
you know foreshocks? Preludes...
I get retained, and all the weight of my friends' and family's hopes
crashing down against me
comparable to a tsunami.
But if a tsunami really occurred, it wouldnt be the studies forgone
It would be LOVE.

I came online
to tell you
i brought recyclables down to the void deck to recycle.
i approached the humble yellow bin
an uncle was scavenging through the rubbish
he has stucked his hands in
and he opened the door to the rectangular bin
to scavenge more.
I turned away
didnt want to get near the dirty old man
I really did that.
and then i asked
why had i labelled him so crudely?
maybe he needed money from the aluminium cans
but.
it was filth that overtook the scanty morals evoked within me
then
he drove away in a bike.
A motorcycle
more bins?
He aint that piteous after all.
Dismayed
and i asked myself
why did he have to do this
over
and over
and over again.