For once, I stutterred and trembled.
For the last moment I stood right in front with trembling fingers.
The J1s, whom i have planted infinite seeds of faith, so meticulously.

This tuesday, 1 year ago, i returned home early like today, to bathe and change into my comfy pe attire, to report for redcross meeting. Today, i braved the downpour home at 12, returning in my smart uniform. I have made it compulsory for all to report in full school uniform. Where we pinned the seeds of faith upon their callow collars.
It was so heavy a hope of believe - i have never given, i dropped the back of that collar pin with trembling fingers.
They commented that it had been so scary, the atmosphere. Nope, not scary. It meant serious business. and its discipline I've instilled in 17 hopeful balloons which i have released this evening.

Despite how tightly i grabbed hold of my pen and clenched my fists with the collar pin hidden, my hand gave it all away. How frightened i was like them, at the crux of revealing the posts. Forced smiles on this girl i have witnessed, how this boy mustered his courage to cheer for his friend becoming President. The disconnection of this boy's fleeting gaze into my eyes. The commencement of lamentations these two people have begun to consolidate... and the unexplained neutrality, like she has just entered another dimension. For once, i was nervous, and uncertain, like them.

Sweet notes.
For each unique individual, sweet little notes i have crafted, that earned the J2s a chorused "thank you J2s". A unified voice so powerful it propelled me into the clouds. It was a joy so succinct - the first i have had in redcross... not even when i clinched the highest position.

I have grown. PROOF!# but maybe not. from how i dreaded approaching meetings, feeling traumatised since the helm of the seniors, suppressing the stubborn tears of anguish on the rocky bus rides home late; Now satisfied after each successful meeting... Yet i childishly joke with them, talking... and waving with elation- like a girl with a lollipop in hand.

Today, the other J2s left, one by one.
I stayed till 7.30, explaining to the J1s, File by file Word by word Item by item.
I was the only one.
All the days my mind drifting away,
It was weaving this perfect labyrinth of thoughts -
which i have pathed precisely. :)

I aint a bitch bragging.
I have been different, and done it!
I'm proud.
I've built up this CCA.
are you?

and so, i move on.
I feel propelled by the wind.
High.

Somehow i cant proceed. Not this evening
Yet i dont wanna stray from this bittersweet treat
After this sleep, will be a newly driven AY
But no, i aint sleeping soon... ...