dear journal,
i want to declare that -
HAVING GERDA HUANG AS MY CHEM TUTOR IS THE BIGGEST NIGHTMARE OR RATHER, DAYMARE THAT I CAN EVER HAVE!!!!!!!!
and my As for chemistry is bygones..... omg!!!!!!
anyway... i shant let a bulldog ruin my EXCITING DAY's activities!!!!!!
omg!!!!
and now i shall recount everything

yesterday was guanyi's performance in NYJC, he consolidated over 20 of us to go watch him perform... haha! XD
and we did!
it was just so awesome... and memorable... maybe i just believe it so... anyway, i watched my dear new friends like serene and yingzhen and guanyi perform, and i am so very proud of them... that i have such talented friends, that they have made NYJC and all of us so PROUD, i am honoured to have them. seriously.
serene - you were so great, the lead actress, and everyone was saying how preetty you are! MY eye candy!!!!!!
yingzhen - although i saw you lost after the performance offstge, i am so proud of you but i just cant make that sink into you right? so i wonder how many times your names shall be misread from now on! haha...
guanyi - my biggest hero from amkss and nyjc... his voice was the loudest, sorry, too loud... haha, and i was hoping that he glanced at us and end up gigling... LOL!
i'm sure all their parents will be so proud of them!

what is unity? just everyone coming together to get something done? or appearing merely as one Strong voice to overpower any others?
Today amksians who atteded the performance sat in 3 rows in the LT! omg!!! i'm so glad we did so. i mean, all of us sitting together once more... when many of us didnt want to attend, but just because of 1 reason we all know beneath - when will we all ever meet up once more?
it didnt fail me.
it just seems that we were on our own. as usual, the girls didnt mix with the boys well, unlike my 2/5 0'50'60'7... which has become a relic... often its just guanyi and randy talking to us girls... no, its not an insult, just a stark truth. its just thta we are different (like psp!!! haha) and everything.... just that, nothing wrong. Awkwardness, because its so Tough. Nvm, you wont understand. as long as i can sort out what my devil... which others can never do so...
But i am seriously touched that the rest of you makes so much effort to bond US, like RANDY BRO!!!, OBAMA!!!!!(LOL!!!), TSEWEI!!! and GUANYI... who never forgets us despite being so far far away....
that's why i questioned unity, probably replacing it with Support instead... that without amkss, we will be rootless, no where to name where we were once from.
the struggle to cling on... ...
At chomp chomp, it was Goddess Auri's first time there =)
haha... and i returned home smelling as though i ahve been locked in a chimney for a day... now my hair still reeks faintly of the bbq smells... haha... XD
girls just arent that adventurous, while we were satiated with our charkkwayteow and popiah and carrot cake, the boys indulged in stingray and veg and egg?... maybe that's why JIAYI said boys are better, and she thought it might be better to be a boy.. haha!!!!
when boys do not calculate the minute cents and dollars in depth...
anyway...
i saw jialing so listless the entire night...randy said she might be feeling that he was neglecting her once more... when he kept laughing and playing with us. haiz... complicated.
amanda answered randy's probing question of whether she's still single or available...
haha, just say the truth, no one here will comment... she replied as only single!!! lol!!
so that means i am the GUAIEST of them all! hahahhaha.... =)=)=)=)
that at least i am not distracted from my scarce and trivial TEENAGEHOOD...
at least i wont be trapped in some dilemma, that i can carry on with my carefree and derilous dreams and wishes and fantasies...maybe stupid... but just leave me in that fantasy.
Never pull me out.


There's a bbq tonight. Tell me, goddess auri, how YOU DID IT!
i want to play with you all, but its just...
i wanted so much to go watch JUMPER, but again...
so sorry.

one day, my mum asked " so randy is the big brother that one is it..." and i replied "yea.". i didnt even bother to enquire how she knew... when i have only mentioned it in my dear journal and my devilish bloggy... i dont wish to know.

ay.starsplash.4/5 xxxxx
words picture my picturesque night.
ticking moments drains away.
as we bid goodnight to the nightingale,
silent words we say

some things remain untold.
some mysteries never unfold,
friendships that holds -
like the love you'll never know...