today was NYJC's GAMES DAY!!!!!!!
it was so fun!!!!
JUNYAN WAS OUR HERO!!!!!
TO SHOOT IN 2 NETBALL BALLS!!!! SCORING US 2 GOALS!!!!!!
YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

okay, at first the boys were so wishy washy, so reluctant to participate in the gamees with us girls, yingzhen, amanda, serene, zanier and I.....
then they wasted half an hour decideing...
then they walked away, serene was so emo,
that all the teachers were saying -
this might be your last day here, so let you enjoy today....
and teachers say- if you are not coming back
and friends saying - good luck...

i never believed in luck... it didnt work, it will never work, sometimes you need that lil wee bit of faith though, my amkss friends would have heard me say this, and so, i shall not clap tomorrow...
and i wont talk to anyone, and i will ignore veeryone if i am down.
then i will go look for louisa and aurina.
my true friends who will not think bad of, or despise me.

back to schooling day,...
the boys walked away. i almost cried.
because i imagined a teary serene coming back and realising they are gone, and our OG will be so empty and broken.
i almost cried.
but the junyan did stupid things.
and they, zanier, him and rudi came back!!!!!
and they changed!
and serene returned and smiled.
and we proceeded as an OG to play so many games!!!!!
i think i am realy not a sports person, because while playing sports, i knock into so many people, and they are angry, and i think the whole world will be my enemy if i play sports in the longterm...

so so, floorball was vigorous, frisbee was fun!!! the girls won the boys! haha. because of help of the wind!!! dodge ball!!!OMG!!!!
AMANDA AND I WERE THE HEROES!!!! HAHA!!!! OMG!!!! so funny!!!!
i held the ball, and this indian black guy was holding another, then i give him the come la, attack me, look and he too!!!
but in the end he passed to someone else!!!1 then then when my oppsing team was at its weakest point, i took my ball and attcked hard at the girls' legs contuinuously.... with amanda helping me to pass!!!
haha, i guess 2 lessons of dodge ball during PE has trained amnada and i to be a super pair!!!!
so proud of myself and OG 19 ATHENA!!!!!!

and then, even though we lost in several games, OG 19 was there!!!!
it mattered alot, becuase .......... it did.
even though now i know the truth, at a loss that kind of feeling.
i am glad OG 19 is together today.
i am so happy, even if this might be the last time we are all playing as an OG after orientation... One that i have found for myself in NYJC.
thank you.
serene.junyan.amanda.jiayi.rudi.zanier.yingzhen.RJ.chong.
jiajie.kaiquan.jun.clement.qinying.shirlyn.

i talked to aurina on msn.
she enlightened me.
she told me the most terrible thing that might happen tomorrow is that we see ppl smiling and cheering, and they come forward to check out our results. and we are too down to answer.... i will ignore her, monsy. i will ignore them.
i will keep quiet and i will go into my own world.
yes, i want that.

then i said, it not that we are embarrassed or what, its THE DEVIL within us, telling us we are so shameful of ourselves, that we cannot tell ppl, just to preserve our pride, that wee bit of ourseves in history, so ppl can still see us standing tall.
its so tedious.

you said you werent emo. .
i will emo too.
but i seldom in nyjc.
and i saw how our OG ppl cared for one another.
they said they didnt want to play,
but they didnt leave.
they hesitated.
and how much i want them to play.
know why now.
why ppl did things,
why ppl had their own choices...
how ppl tried to smile.
i remembered i cried so terribly,
last year.
when i found out about MY FRIEND.
i went to see a counsellor.
so ppl know we still care.
i am scared, so so super
frightened.
of death.
let me be.
and i dont know what else to say.
please stay in NYJC.
i want to see all my OG ppl again...
things wont ever be the same.

it wa the first time
i heard you all say those things,
which ppl have never ever spoken of to me...
i never even dreamt.
but i fitted in alrighjt...

afew days ago, i thought and thought,
who are these friends to me.
acquaintances, i would say.
those that come and go, appear in our lives
guide us through this stage of life we are going through,
then they will drift and be gone.
that's what the counsellor told me last year.
and it is so true.
but i know long before she told me so.
i understood , life.
maybe
nothing makes sense on my blog.
but if i dont say, i might never will.
and so, people come and go.
and i have learnt to accept and take things lightly,
that i no longer DARE to make
true, good friends in 4/5, class last year.
i really gave up.
until louisa and surong talked to me and tried to penetrate.
only these 2 .
i wont let others.
and it isnt about my results tomorrow.
i dont care, i am prepared.

ay.starsplash.ididemo.
and There's really a devil within Us.