Dear journal,
today is the first day ever i feel like crying at work.tehy are at the cashiering counter and i look upon... Ron played with me but i cannot drive away the bordom instilled within me. do i just look? i am, but a white elephant - good for nothing here today. wenhui off, shiyun morning ron morning yihlin morning and ahhh... i'm the only one afternoon till 10 pm.
is it because mum aint talking to me?
or is it because this is a boring job?
i thought i loved this job because everyone is so nice, but i'm alone tonight.
Maybe because its something i can never get, it seems so aimless, fruitless, pointless.... impossible. like a wild thought many a times that seeped through my mind.
clarissa made 1 phrase ever in sec 2 that made so much sense nobody else can replace it, and no other words can replace it - SO NEAR YET SO FAR.
maybe the emo selfish me found this as an escapance from my job and i say i love it. (aiya... i dont know what my freaky mind speaks.)
you know many illnesses, like schizophrenia, loss of memory, depresssion, blah blah. the devil within me just found a target. far away.
brendon said he would teach me cahsiering but he never did. that's why i never say out my wishes and desires, (i will fight for them on my own, in silence, solitude) if something is not confirmed. it gives people false hope, anticipation, then BOOM! the bubble burst.
i just stand behind the red table stoning.
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a chance of a lifetime is when you just do something and time just drifted by without your knowledge, and days and nights drifted like .... i'm flying! i flew, that night i didnt even remember or was aware of the music playing while i was talking away.
dear journal, why do people steal?if they cannot afford it, why do they have to steal to claim it as theirs? ( i was asked to patrol the shop to make sure nobody stole), and i chose to believe people have integrity, so i looked away. but yesterday, i myslef took home a fruitips from the pantry, it was already opened and it was a rejected good from the stall, so i just took it, i felt so guilty.so its THE DEVIL within everyone. seizing control over one's goodwill... whatever, i'm gonna get a headache soon, a pending one.
dearest journal, is watsons like this?
so fun afterall? before the shop closed, chong the assistant manager threw paper balls and played with me, and everyone laughed... laughed with us.
did watsons have a happy ending afterall? that make me love it so much more.
i've fallen deeper.
ay.starsplash.
and i screamed - No! Dont look at me!!!!
Instead of a casual smile, i looked away.
But i should have known better i aint any princess to be looked at.

THE DEVIL MIGHT HAVE WOKEN, THE DEVIL AWOKE FROM ITS HIBERNATION BUT IT WENT OUT SO I HAD A FAIRYTALE.