I wished it was tuesday today so i can scream out what i want so i wont feel miserable today.
i was literally torn when you two told me so.
No, i never blame you but i guess.
it was never meant to be, EVER.
i expected it long ago.
on my bed i had insomnia every night during this olevel period, because i used guides motto 'Be Prepared', i was prepared that it never come through anyway.

and i guess you never know how its importance
maybe you
overlooked its significance.
misheard the agreement
forgot - words.
but i have it. them.
but.
which i will read one last time and then... tear.
so i wont be miserable when i recall how we entered, and left.
this chain.
maybe.
yesterday yesterday night, i forgot when, i wished for so many things on my bed that i cried, and i slept.
wishes never come true.

dont wish for anything in future, my friends.
when you say a wish, more often than not, it bursts.
mine burst 3 1/2 years ago.
i sewed the pieces back hoping it will float again but it got pricked everytime.by them who never trully know who i am.
counsellor said - YOU got to live for yourself.

when i doubted every single thing that occurred this year, i still chose to BELIEVE. Because it was my last hope, and i needed a lil bit of faith to pull through and accept this class. class?
i guess i lost it all when my balloon burst.
today.
angel.goddess.knightx.

gone.

one

by

one.

13th of november.
why did i anticipate so much but everything burst today.
i returned to call angel.
i.
I STILL WISH TO BELIEVE.
yet i dont want to force, or BURDEN my beloved friends.
i cannot Burden them.
i wished i could penetrate your shield.
so i can tell you and share with you.
but i cant burden with my emo.
i cant burden my friends.
only u. that i cant tell you what I WANT.
why?
i guess i have to break mine first.





today made me want to linger.
on the 13th november 07 tomorrow.
i wish
things
will
be
a
reflection
of
today.
xmiserablex
angel knows.
not forgetting my journal.
i can hug it to sleep.
counsellor said - i live for myself.
why am i always using this to comfort myself.
because its the only true words
that i have to pull myself out
of this predicament.

ay.starsplash.my ballon burst today.