I feel so stupid.
Nothing beats returning home to my humble neighbourhood, even if i'm confined within this safe enclave of familiarity, when all else turn their backs.

I feel so stupid making my way to paya lebar to attend Southeast CDC's Stand Up Movement project palnning 1. A time when i feel all the load is being flung at me, simultaneously, continuously, like heavy raindrops falling on my head. When i was chosen, as the leader once more. I didnt have the stamina anymore... Fool, then you shouldnt have like - showed off - and showed the world that you had been capapble of something right?! Stupid.

I'm such a different girl i realised. what others could do, i cant. i couldnt follow after the footsteps of my revered idol, the Standupmovement's leader, she is a graduant from VJC. the excuse i give is that i am different. that i drink less sweetened soya milk, munch on blueberry instead of chocolate puffs. that i can only study at home, that i love being alone at home in the lazy afternoons...
Anna the strange, as surong once joked.

i dont know, I feel handicapped without my magic of words, which i took 3 years of reading from secondary 2 to 4 to cultivate, i've simply lost it all; You dont see the impact of my words anymore. and the absence of nothing significant enough to stimulate my coldheartedness, of mention and memory, everything has become dull.

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ay.starsplash//
i feel helpless, when this feeling within cannot be expressed.
today, i learnt that returning home, could be so sweet:)