human race

Yesterday, Devi asked me "What are you future plans... long into the future."
I thought about career, life and relationships.  I have thought about this before with a hundred and one possibilities, but never put it down into words.
"If I am still single and alone, when my parents aren't around anymore, I would travel the world to learn new things, or I would do volunteerism. Such as that in Thailand which Ive been to before.  The life there is so cut off from the outside world its surreal and calming."
I think it would numb, or maybe merely mask, all my sadness and loneliness in life.

I thought that I would love being a paramedic, a nurse, or a tour guide...
But yet all these jobs do not require a degree right.  What jobs are degree holders entitled to? Civil servant jobs, high ranks in MNCs, important roles in shaping society.  Very much at times, I wish to be rid of all these degrees, fears and phobia that hold me back. and start from rock bottom up. I think Im more suited for that.

But I went with the flow.

Its ironic that Im asking myself what I really want to be, when people have already begun thinking about these since Sec 4 upon moving onto the JC or poly track, and prior to deciding on a course in Uni. Even till now, Im questioning myself that, almost every.single.day.
What do I do when my bond is up?
Its blurry.

Is this normal???

Maybe Ive watched too much drama. and yes, I always KNOW that Im forever 1 step behind others in maturity, progression, thought, decisions. I will get there eventually, but behind others.
-I think too much-