Meranti has helped to affirm myself.
Especially so at today's team games. There was a game where our group has to count 1 to 50, with our backs facing each other. Prior to the game, some members began to strategise how we could nail the game by calling the numbers in order of our names. It was cheating, I thought. We completed numbers 1-19 as planned but when 20 came, the strategy was lost and everyone came at random as supposed. At the end of team challenge, my group came in 2nd place, yet I didnt have that Yay feeling cos I felt that we defeated the purpose by having cheated initially.
My guilt was so strong and firm that it affected me for quite sometime. Come to think of it now, we were quite good at strategising eh? Maybe I have been thinking too much and taking things too seriously. :(
Over these 2 days, many people have commented that I am very smiley, and bubbly and gentle. Seriously, I am not gentle. I might behave this way so as to mask awkwardness among a new group of people. I do not know how to react, I do not know what to talk about with you, so I smile along. People asked if I ever get angry. Yes I do get angry, very angry. But I get over it the next day.
But these new friends and the trainer told me things that really affirm myself today.
In a personalized letter from the Trainer to me, it reads:
This is really affirming. At the debrief, we formed 2 circles. People in the inner circle will shake a cross hand with person on outer circle one by one (as outer circle rotates) to say our thanks. Person after person, they thanked me for being smiley and being so so cheerful in the group. Despite my quietness and almost insignificant verbal contributions, I thought. And another thanked me for my presence, for he thought that my cheerful presence and Fred's were very crucial to the cohesion of this group. THOSE.PRECIOUS.WORDS. People put down their pride to say these humbling words to me. I was taken by surprise.
From camps to OBS to parttime jobs to this NIE teambonding/learning course, people have mentioned a lot that I smile so much and am cheerful. I shall embrace it, be Proud of my trademark =) I have to make it useful. I hope to inspire people with this. "to let them realise there's so much more in life to be joyful and thankful about", my trainer wrote.
On a separate note, the demise of 2 female kpop stars in a car accident really saddens me. Life is fragile like this. Everything you have owned and earned, could be gone in the blink of an eye.
Let's cherish the moment and be appreciative in the moment.
I feel really, really encouraged by what my friends and the trainer have told me.
AY will try my best.
Theres a lot I have to learn from these humble friends or rather, remarkable colleagues of mine.
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