-IDOLISM-

You'd never imagine that at this age in Time of 20 years of wisdom gained, only now am I chasing after idol stars. I am late. People normally exhibit their fanatism in secondary school. But having been well protected as an only child, Im sheltered from exposure to the masses because I seek to remain as the guai, practical girl. Recently, my interest has taken the hold of me as I increasing am empowered to seek what I desire. It may be childish, but I contemplated for a week before heading out to the supermart (Finally!!!) on a Friday after a hectic week at school to grab hold of the Teens Magazine, just for the U-Kiss poster. Its a Kpop male group. Friends from my cliques do not appreciate Kpop, I feel one in a million. Sometimes I have an urge but there's no one to share my enthusiasm with when chancing upon something interesting... I figured that I am already 20. I will never ever be at this prime age in Time ever again, just this once. When I recall this phase of my life when Im 50, 60, 70, 80? I'd be gratified with this memory of an innocent fan-girl. It means alot. members of the group are mostly born in 1989, 1991. My year!!! hahaha. hence if i do not 'support' them now, I believe for Kpop which is so 'temporary' ; they would just disappear soon... in afew years' time they would be too old like me. and new younger boy groups will pop up whereby it'll be awkward for me to ogle at younger boys then...Youth doent stay. I feel the necessity to share with everyone what I feel and what I accomplished through FB. having rationalised my actions and done it. when you think, i would become significant to you.
Because, I felt really happy having done what I did. :)

I check my email patiently everyday. because I Wait for my result of my SEP application to come. Even though I never hold hold high hopes lest I get despaired, I really do hope to go away on SEP. and so I hopefully log in everyday without fail. A part of me desires to go away as a form of escapance. This is wrong but, I just wanna leave things behind, which is my CCA. My term in the club ends next August; I wish to be able to go away so that I would not need to experience the overwhelming handing over and AAR (analysis and review) which I do not feel comfortable with. I need a full clean cut break between school and my CCA. Its not passion, its responsibility serving in the club having been trained as the vice in my sub comm last year, now im the head of the subcomm. Its responsibility in continuation. Sometimes it becomes too great a burden for me doing sth that I do not preach. But I try to hang on... it gets tough. So I apologise. I apologise so freely, naming out all my imperfections. but Im sorry. For something that I have no confidence in accomplishing, the most i can do is try my best and go along. I hope it'll still make a difference.

Hang on!!!
it sounds like a happy post amidst my flurry of things at hand to accomplish but things like that that make me smile, paints my life more meaningful and ... colourful =) i hope it inspires you too :)

ay.starsplash//