This morning, awakened, and it felt like I really miss all my friends, espcially my male friends so true I have not contacted since they've enlisted into army. You say i dont talk to guys, but my male friends, a handful of them, are the bestest friends in my life who would stand by me whenever whereever. Like Randy Bro, who is literally always just a phone call away. And the girls are involved in their activities now. Yet somehow through mutual friends, we discover that we both know that same person! and its really a warming feeling:) Im enjoying my hostel life. But theres a lingering guilt. Who's gonna take care of my parents? Not like they cant take care of themselves, but at least when Im home, i could lend a listening ear to mum. Curb dad's bad habit of clearing his throat, help mum with her aching back. Im the only child so I ought to do that. But i aint at home. and everytime upon returning to school after 1 day home, my tears well up secretly in my eyes and I turn away. Yesterday, I returned home and hear that mum had a tiff with dad. This always happens; but this time round, i just aint around-.
You know the feeling of happiness? When i sat beside my eyecandy oneday in school, I felt the urge to shout and exclaim! to my friends. Haha. Childish games. Just some kinda fantasies to keep sane, living my own world at PGP. Here, it seems you're living in an estate, but you stroll pass strangers everyday without taking more than a glance at their faces. For they look like replicas, and you look eyetoeye but they turn away before you could take a second longer to smile. On FB, vishal commented "I miss seeing how you wave to almost everyone you knew at ny in the mornings or during breaks or while walking to our next venue!" are you still doing that often now, Annayeo? Only now that I realised, my NY friends noticed; these mere everyday gestures defined me. I took a module: Changing Lanscapes in Singapore. But no one knows how much love this module brought. It analysed the Sinagpore River, CityHall, The Green schemes of Sinagpore, Marina Barrage. etc.. But my friends went 'what's so nice about that?' .
Dont forget, AY. Things, people far away, Life's simple beauties that used to astound you, only you.
Even the radiant night lights from the cranes at Ports in the South.


ay//