ODD weeks.
I hate odd weeks. Just the odd weeks. With long schooling hours and friday's .... Bio. I sound like any other cliche blogs complaining about - school. But. if this carries on, i'm so gonna hate it, i'm gonna get a phobia of it, i'm gonna dread it. Dont. Dont make me do that. I just cant memorise in school. All the senseless bio stuffs. Dont force me, to do something i cant... You may call it a mental barrier, but, the more you force me, the more i cant do it...
I feel so fatigued-mentally. I walked the slowest i have ever walked home, from the side corridor of NY, along the sheltered pathway to the towering overhead bridge, the drudgery i feel i might just let go of this mad rush of life. when i saw my friend at the busstop, for once i pretended not to notice, that i didnt care-less, and he asked "why you dao me?"
I didnt mean to, in the slurry of perplexion...

For all the tears i have cried; all the angst erupted. All the moments of lost hope.
Poppins' achieved the As in pw. No matter how stubbornly i once mentioned never to speak with again; never to work together again, we were still Poppins'.
When after all,
we have stood together. We sat together before the release of results, and i was the first in the group to receive it.

It was a special kinda feeling that has never occurred before. I went up to the teacher's desk, look, check, double check if it was me. And i turned around to my group mates, with a smile and a nod - one so much of conviction and relief and gratitude. and my creased eye speaking 'I have done it.'
:)
ANNA EILEEN MARVEN YEMIN Z-WIN. (i miss z-win. I'm sure you do.)

there was no exceptional triumph, because if it had not been for goddess Mdm Ainon, we wouldnt have come thus far. we owe her, something intangible. and i know how i got to behave, in i know how screamings and bitchy exclamations make people sluts. For the hour thereafter, i was really clueless about how i was gonna talk to the people around me. I just wanted to run away, be it shout it out, or to call mummy, to only exclaim into her ears the triumph i have suppressed. But i didnt.
Mum wasnt there. and i remained silent - to being Safe.

"You cant lead a life alone in JC. You will die a tragic death. and today i repented over my obsessive sensitivity towards people. I cannot be alone in JC. and when i emerge, that's when all else gets lost."








for all the tears i have cried-
it had been all the more worse for me..
ay//