I'm so disappointed. Sometimes, it seems she is lost in her own euphoria she forgets who we are... She even forgets who she is herself. When all i asked was for her to print another set of notes... Othertimes, she would volunteerily do more than i needed when all i needed was one. It just seems her priorities are wrong now... like... she neglects me more and more...
She has forgotten how much we have helped her when her friends came to our house for visitations.. i took out the cakes to cool and made the drinks for her without being told... Dad prepared the balcony and got everything ready for her... I'm just so sad... maybe angry with how she sees these tasks so lightly... Yes, i'm disappointed, so much so that my angry tears seem to well while spilling all my overpouring emotions this night.
where Its a SIN to display a single tinge of irate and fury.
She's so involved with her friends at school now, and i'm seriously happy for her, when she doesnt even reply my messages when i asked why she had been so late at work till around 7pm, when she knocks off at 4... her second home it has become. when i enquired the moment she entered the house, all she could show was a sian and maligned face.. that she had been working. yet. when i didnt bother how late she was, she would lament that i didnt bother a least bit...
I'm hurt. and this aint the first time. the previous time, she has forgotten everything that i was involved in and made every thing i've told her seem so trivial and invisible.
she forgot everything i've done. She forgot who my closest friends are.
Maybe, in her midst of her hectic schedules and enjoyment... we are no longer of as much significant anymore... Yes, I'm independent now. I aint tied to mama's strings anymore... I can make my own decisions... but there are these times... when i needed you, but you arent there for me, no longer within my arm's reach... these times when i tried to look you up, i was turned away, maybe.. maybe i am just a trifling as you see it now.
and that's when it all trickled down.
tell me, is it those of anguish. or despair?

maybe its time all i got to do, was to stand on my own.

ay.
i'm hurt today, mama. :(