Recently there arent any emo posts, like i have lost that part of me that is able to think over every nitty gritty that i have done; how every single action will impact on people... Maybe its the blogskin? haha... yeah, maybe its the blogskin that affects the mood.. =)
christmas is cround the corner! and i'm in the midst of planning what chocos to buy for gifts! =) omg, but because i want to indulge too, so i choose what i like haha! i really cant wait for Christmas meal with Randy bro and greeny gang you know! though i aint a christian and i'm like so excited over this festival... hmmm... just for the joy right? =)
i had a bad dream yesterday, something i have had a phobia with, something if i pushed to the depths of my mind, it will eventually make me utterly paranoid, and i'm sure of it... its somehow so ridiculous and taboo... omg.. i feel the jitters every single time i awake from such a dream. and then i will go touch wood touch wood, and slap myself several times. I'm serious. Maybe, maybe speaking of my fear here will make me feel better. Go away please, i'm really phobia-ic with it. Its such a fear, this is the fear that will haunt me, no matter how safe i may be...

Today is another gathering with Osle. I've spent many alot of money going out.. =(
Somehow i feel... like i dont know what i am doing anymore. The point of making up for this, forgoing some of that, like i'm just whirling in this cycle which i have spun for myself...
I know what to do. but dont i always say that? Yet there are certain times when i will really go all the way out with them. i'm glad i knew my closer friends there nonetheless =)

ay.starsplash

what we could have been.