this morning i awoke humming the song Guilty by Blue. and i dont know why.
this morning i awoke, and told myself i should be at the airport right then.
this morning i awoke at 7 and i told myself to sleep on, and wake up later.

Yesterday, the osleians went to school for the last day to tie up the pieces. we formed a circle and Mr lim initiated the sharing. That was the final meeting since the knowing of the Cancellation of the trip. When each of them spoke, i really - sucked in- my teary eye, avoiding all gazes. then keqin spoke, she had an outburst, and all the rest followed. It felt.. good, to let it out. we shared, we emoed, and we felt better. Really better. but there's this emptiness about the literature room where we hold all our meetings now, like i dared not step in there ever again, a taboo... and i see no more reason to step in there, except for future osle.
just when i feel so belonged.

we took pics, and went cycling. for once i cycled so far. it seems as though with every cyccling trip i go, i will surpass my previous record. we had a sumptous dinner... somehow i feel that i spend alot of money hanging out with osle people... where we waited for one another, and for once i felt so blissful being part of this group. like i was safe where they are.


this afternoon i napped.
and i awoke with a stark realisation.
i dreamt of a large grandstand with chairs, and swivel tables (like those in NY's lecture),
i was scampering up the flights of stairs knocking against the side tables... and sitting there was my secondary 2 Home economics teacher Mrs Yeo. She motioned for me to sit beside her, and i realised she was dressed in NCC Air's signature blue uniform. i recalled she was previously the teacher incharge of ncc air.
In the field below to the left, i'm not gonna describe the entire event so prominent in me, to you. Just that i passed by 2 stranger boys and i went down the grandstand to the second level where madeline and eileen were, where this long haired girl sat in fronta me.
then i awoke and i wondered what this dream meant.
i thought about my Dreams Explained book bought from Borders bookstore that depicts meanings of dream using keywords.
But. am i gonna search for 'long hair' 'stranger' 'CCA' 'grandstand' or blah? what would it mean piecing these information together? it wouldnt didnt make sense.
I realised some thoughts need no explainations, some questions can never be answered, and some crazy mind to be remained a mystery?
this dream cannot be depicted. It just contains strays of beings, what i loved, acquainatnces and probably some traces of issues affecting me recently.
my dream book seems like a white elephant now, now it seems so ridiculous interpreting my thoughts from a book.
just let them roam.
let my dreams roam free.


yet this time round they were all unfamilair faces. even of strangers.
they were'nt Greeny faces anymore.
how, did i picture the faces of these Strangers?


i need to work.
i have to go out to catch up with them.
i got to revive my momentum in studies.
i got to save money. i know what to do.


have i really moved on?



Greeny gang, BBq on 28th, SUNDAY can? because 29th NY councillors cant make it.


ay.starsplash.stranger