passion is the driving force of success.
without passion, i wont do it well. i wont even commit myself to it.
i know, i can confirm that i wont be putting in my 100%, for this cca... that is too trivial to capture my attention. dont waste my time.


today i lost my appetitie.
even though my bag was stuffed with 3 types of sweets, sweet tastes did not drown my confusion while i dazed in the bus home.
i just feel like giving up. forgetting everything, forgetting that sweets were my Life! ...

i cant quit anymore.
i dont want to serve something i dont have passion in.
i cried at my desk. then why did i perform the interview so well? i didnt even prepare a speech, because i didnt give a damn about this sucky cca. no, i just. i cant quit anymore, i'm jsut so depressed. now i got to settle the entire cca. Gosh.
ANNA THE BIG NOOB - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? ITS A CURSE, YOU DONT WANT IT YET YOU GOT IT.
mum actually psychoed me not to fight for it anymore. but i was so perplexed that i went to sit beside MONSY during assembly, and she pushed me on, taught me to Fight for it. so , i got it.
Monsy is the CAPTAIN of her dragon BOAT of girls. I'M SO SO SO PROUD OF HER!
and guanyi is the president of chinese cultural society! and cheryl tan is the president of journalism! maybe JJ will be the president of Guitar! maybe auri shall be the capatin of judo...

all i can remember was goddess auri leading us in Girl Guides.
the never faltering Goddess. where are you now to lead me on? =(
what is red cross? its just blood and first aid. while girl guides are all rounders. there's not even footdrills, where does the discipline go? and the teacher seems to have an attitude face. wth.
i cant lead. i wont lead.
i can only follow instructions and fulfil my duties well. i'm gonna be a hated president, one who slacks and is a WHITE ELEPHANT. but do i care? no, i dont. because i never intended to stay in this cca. i joined, merely to learn first aid, not to manage the entire cca, and TRANSFORM IT FROM A SLACK CCA TO ONE THAT IS RESPECTED, like goddess auri and US amksians did for AMKSS GIRL GUIDES! TILL what it is today.
Its different.
i want to cry.
that means i have to forgo my beloved service learning committee. that i can only do just this much now for the community. i'm trapped in this bloody mess. i'm a noob. =(


the only thing that REALLY CHEERED ME UP THIS GLOOMY NIGHT WAS THAT THE ENTIRE YANG FAMILY OF US GOT THE HIGH POST. THAT MAKES US AMKSIANS SO VERY PROUD. THAT WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO OUTSHINE THE REST. yes. we made it.
GREENY amksians. yir cheered me up!
but just this much... ...

i feel so lost still.
i should be happy.
but it just balances here and there, i feel nothing anymore.
i'm so so looking forward to SUNDAY. no backing out!!! XD
is that the only reason that makes me look forward?
Let it be , Then.























my dear dear friends, if i become a bitch and order people around, if i scold people or flare up for no reason. if my mood swings 720 degrees, if i dwindle in my school work. if i emo and emo and emo.
if i keep crying.
will you please shake me up and scream at me to wake up?
=(
last time monsy was beside me, but she didnt know. i want you all to know now...













ay.starsplash.i'm just a noob.