I feel inspired after reading angelina's blog! CAMBODIA!

oh and yesterday i had interesting dreams again. I know, that magical pillow which i sometimes sleep on. I dreamt of NCC Air boys and GirlGuide girls including myself. Those familiar faces from sec sch. We went to our own shopping centre which i created. and there was this painting. SUPER COOL. 3D leh!!!!!!!!!! and it was called "before and after" - the faces of people before, and faces beside, after embellishment. But the after faces were distorted and sorta disfigured? But I figured, it could mean before it was alright... but what eventually happens is that things change. and here, this changed for the worse after. :(

and we went up the escaloator, we were supposed to meet our Sirs to explain the rationale of that painting above so that we'll be able to explain to primary school kids during open house. Open house? In a shopping mall? LOL. and on FB i saw 8 faces of the 'attendees' of the event. i can only recall 5 faces. But it was such a sweet feeling, because I aint in contact with all of them anymore.

But their faces are as distinct as ever in my other world.

and WOWWWWWWWW I am an artist in my dream world eh, for I created my own painting, never seen before I'm serious.

:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

My imaginary :(

Today at Toys R Us,

I chatted with a girl at my play dough booth. She was outgoing and spontaneous. So she told me she have 2 older siblings, 1 brother 10 years old, her sister 8, and herself 5. she told me that her 2 siblings are very good! her brother watches barbie, while her sister watches ben 10! So i asked with surprise "why is it the other way round?" hahaha. I asked if the 3 of them do quarrel, she replied No! they all take very good care of her, her sister would watch ben10 while brother watch barbie, she reiterated. :) she had a dog named Pepper! so I told her to name the doggy soft toy beside her 'Chily'. HAHAHA and she screamed NOOOOOOOOOO! lol. she helped scold a naughty boy who mixed all my dough colours together. and she insisted that we make a butterfly with her leading us! when she couldnt shape a long snake, she whined for help. A typical girl well brought up. I asked where her parents were?? She told me there were eating somewhere and gave her brother the task of looking after her at toysrus. And her sister? "Oh she vomited this morning, she slept next to me and she vomited all over the bed and on my hair!!! I had to wash my hair 3 times so there is no more smelly smell!" I asked, "were you so short that she vomited just on your hair???" and she explained that her sister was very sick! Her name is Edna, and she told me her sister's name is very unique! Its called Adil. and her brother is called kor kor. Haha! she's such a brilliant girl so well versed that a fellow kid's parent began chatting with her. This time, her brother came jubilantly! =D the stranger's mum asked the brother if they had other siblings. her brother replied no. i asked her... what about your sister??????!!!!!! She whispered "sold away alr..." I was stumped. I was afraid I had hit a wrong cord, evoked awful memories of the lil girl:( I said an 'Oh' apologetically that faded into silence. The mum asked quizzically at me " her sister what?" I retold it. That mum was stunned for 1 mere second, and began laughing " No La! What sold away! Hahaha! Cannot! A pet is it??? Your pet was sold away??????" the girl replied " my dog is called Pepper!" At this moment, the brother spoke! "yeah our dog is called Pepper, real one!" I asked the brother "where is her sister"?? He replied "that one is her imaginary friend!hahaah..." The girl glared at him. Speechless. She boxed him in the tummy! and whined and stormed her feet! and chided - "Why did you tell them that! Why must you say it!!" Brother: " its the truth! lol" Girl: "But its a Bad thing..." and tears welled up in her eyes. *arms crossed* being doublecrossed. cat out of the bag. GameOver.

Ever since that moment, I never concentrated on teaching the kids play dough anymore. I had the urge to ask my psychology friends if childhood imaginary friends were common. But I know they lack the real expertise to enlighten me. I myself had had imaginary friends. When I played masak masak, I made food, and sold it to imaginary friends behind a booth. I spoke to imaginary friends to ask them what they wanted to purchase. Until now, Im afraid I'd have imaginary friends. Often times alone, words of conversation mainly of the past would surface in my mind, and i'd be replaying those verses mentally, as though talking to an imaginary friend. It IS my mind speaking. Still is. The way I always use Me, I and You interchangeably in blog posts.

But. I do not recall a stage of intense deception as the girl has demonstrated. I REALLY believed she had 2 older siblings, when she first told me in the midst of dough modelling. A happy, truthful carefree talk. Even though I know they shouldnt be talking to strangers let alone telling a stranger, Me, their life. But I know I have gained her trust and she was sharing with me. But when her brother told the truth, I felt our liasion (the girl and I) was snapped. I was very worried. How would a 5 year old craft out an intricate life of another being - her sister? and her imaginary Sister being sold away, just to save herself from her woven lie. =( I felt quite shaken by the unfolding of events. She wasnt love deprived. halfway through the modelling awhile after the truth was revealed, she asked me, 'I miss you! Do u miss me too?' The woody stone me replied ' you havent even left yet, we are still here, why would you miss me? hahaha'. It was NOT the reply she wanted. for she embarrassingly gave a =_= face.

I was very worried about her imaginary mind so I spoke with her brother discreetly and found out that it was indeed imaginary. How did he know? She kept talking to herself. :X For how long now? :X -2 weeks already-. Do her parents know? :X Nope, her parents didnt know.:X

If this is serious, it could be Schizophrenia. I aint exaggerating, until my psychology friends can enlighten me if childhood imaginary beings are normal. Schizophrenia beings hear people talking to them, instructing them to do things. It is that scary. :( I hope her parents would realise their daughter's sister soon.

Then, her parents came and she ran to her dad! said byebye, and left being carried in papa's arms,

never looking back once more.

Would these kids remember the playdoh jiejie?

I doubt they will.

But I'll never forget that girl and her imaginary sister

A spontaneous story that made me believe and reproachful for bringing it up

When'll imagination fade? :X

do you know, that could drive me insane? staring blankly into space and then i strolled around to the outdoor section where i sat on the wooden garden swing and i thought for a moment if i continue like this i'd lose myself in it and become looney. NYJC had a swing just like that! outside the canteen. I recall sitting cross legged there with my other 2 friends who did not know each other, but we sat together, 1 on the ground and chatted nonetheless:) a sweet memory. whenever i return to my position as the toy promoter i feel my youth drifting away because i aint doing anything substantial. when i sit down on the overturned basket I sense eyes staring at me, but oh well so many merely walk pass even without realising theres somebody, me, hiding obscurely at the corner. Today, i'd describe different kinds of children at my play-doh booth. there was a boy who wandered around the toy section who seemed old enough for a lower sec kid. but then he came to play-doh and started meddling around. I stood cross armed intending to intimidate him to no avail. then he rode on the rollerboard, u know the kind without handlebars, just balancing and maneuverring on your 2 feet, whats it called? and banged into a stack of boxed toys which toppled and i shot sternly "excuse me"? and he replied nonchalantly "what? sorry." I wondered if he had been one of those problem kids ive learnt about in social work, or with some psychological disabilities? im consoled that Singaporean kids are so much more well behaved than foreigners. 3 kids that came and created chaos at the booth, one boy mixed all the colours together! and they snatched the playdoh machines and screwed the mechanism with brutality like wringing a towel. hands all over the table. my energy was all drained supervising them im tellin' you. singaporean kids daren't touch anything, they'll await patiently for me to demonstrate, guide and teach. you might say that's too much spoon feeding and non self-initiated. but oh well, they are angels compared to the former who played for its their right in oblivion to the outside world. =( that's bad. there's elitism. Certain children are so well-spoken that i could strike a conversation with them and one older brother even corrected his younger brother's english in a story-telling game. Im impressed! and this Isreali boy shared with me that it is his birthday tmr! so cute. i saw many middle aged uncles and aunties looking at the array of toys with fascination but when they place them back eventually. I know their intention and i really appreciate their love for their grandchildren. While standing idling, 2 male stall assistants began playing on the piano randomly. and it was a comforting respite, away from the CD that replays 100 times a day through the PA system. i thought how sweet that guys could play the piano so well. mind you, they look like ah bengs with brown hair over 1 eye type with a scrawny frame. they appreciate music! reminds me of Jay Chou bu neng shuo de mi mi, and ye qu, and qing tian and qi li xiang... you say they're emo songs but those are the songs that allow me to slow down the days' flurry. his lyrics illustrates life's simple pleasures. when I myself a girl aint musically inclined. but the 2 guys they managed to! for a moment when i relish in the symphonies I thought myself the underdog to them and I was.inferior. What's your goal, AY? I admire them, those 2 pianist store assistants.

I love discussing on the issue of religion. Because I learn so much from all my friends. and yesterday my friend gave me an answer which Ive been pondering on forever.

I asked if it was alright to embrace every religion in oneself.

and he replied that we cant for we'd become a very confused person.

Oh yeah, I never thought of that and it really does make sense however...

I know that I begin to judge these issues ever since my being in FASS.

It's fine, exploring these.

well, open your eyes see the world!

:)

My friends are leaving for Germany! and they'll be back ahem.. after 12th june :( haha... But im so excited for them nonetheless! I love airplanes, I love the sky, stars, airplane food... hahaha! and the knowing that I might be in another country in foreign land, floating in another part of space??? =p really makes me wanna go for SEP. I got so excited looking at Geog modules in uni of northcarolina... despite that being the only uni ive researched on so far! hahah... of course Europe is so lovely to tour! My dream of visiting Rome-the majestic Collosseum! the teetering eiffel tower! London's eye! Lourve! rainbow St.Basil's Cathedral! haha! but even if i end up going to US its alright! because i know i'll learn an experience different things after all!!! =))))

I might not have expectations, for how well I perform at school, for I always try my best. But I have sooo many aspirations for the stuffs I wanna be in future! I wanna work for PUB, NEA, in the tourism industry, manage marina barrage, work in the CDCs..... i wanna be so many things and whenever something new pops up that I discover, I feel so filled with hope all over again!

Take a leap of faith and belief! I'll do well whatever I have at this stage in time and see where it leads me! Im happy and satiated this way.


:D




ay//

For something you arent familiar with, would you try? Is life about risk-taking? If you wont try, you'll never ever know.

Close friends would have known that I love exploring. haha. Anna the explorer.

Open your eyes wide, when you look at the world. Then you will piece information together to empower yourself, when you're out there alone.

It takes alot to enter school all alone, to enter the workforce solo, to plan for the big future based on imaginations and aspirations. Its treacherous.

Sometimes on the bus home from school, I wished I wouldnt meet acquaintances so that I can relish in my musica... It takes a whole lot of courage to brace yourself up and say Hi to the first stranger you meet, cos this stranger is gonna be an acquaintance to accompany you for the journey ahead no matter how short. I thought I liked making new friends. You begin on a clean slate with no mistakes and no grudges. Its a game, whereby you invest your trust. But its a tiring routine.

I was selected for Singapore International Water Week ambassador!!! hahaha!!!! But this, I know is for crafting my future. This international event shall colour my credentials, with PUB's brandname, in this related field of water (geog). hmmm sneaky??? Like Im working things to my advantage? I dont know. But thats a step! towards my big plans or imaginations...

Escapisms.

You assume to be such a brave and noble girl, ANNA YEO. In your thoughts and convictions. But you have escaped from the realities of society, and of death. You have escaped so tediously from your phobia of death for so long now. and of society? Why, your giving up on Social Work module? That i respect my friends who major in social work and those who work for pathlight and love children with special needs. Which I am incapable of because I cannot cope with it.:( Because reality is too bleak and it makes you a sad emo person which renders your life sombre. :( If so, I wondered if all I anticipated was a happy carefree world. Im so ignorant; And then you'll rebutt that your world is in your own creation.

Every now and then, this song resurfaces in my mind, crisp and clear

Thank you for the world so sweet oh hum

Thank you for the food we eat yum yum

Thank your for the birds that sing-a-ling-a-ling

Thank you God for everything lets eat!

I wished you could hear me sing the tune now.

Its a song that GirlGuides sing before we have our meals during camps.

This is a song of conviction that the world can be beautiful in

life's simple pleasures.

=)

I used YOU and I interchangeably, it seems Im talking to myself... but Im unsure which way... haha hmmm...

Thank you for the world so sweet oh hum

Thank you for the food we eat yum yum

Thank your for the birds that sing-a-ling-a-ling

Thank you God for everything lets eat.

ay.starsplash//