As human beings, we speculate. Connect pieces of subtle meanings together and create a story, well, I created my story this way. Your actions with subtle meanings, makes me fatigued reasoning and anticipating the reason or mere normality of it all. Exams are over, gave myself slack to think. Till Christmas. and thereafter throw it all away and move on with life. Silly acts of reading the same msg 10 times over in a day. Simply trying to figure out the motive behind obscurity, or randomness? Its a treacherous thing to do, debunking with a mentality of not expecting anything and whatever outcome, so you wouldnt get hurt. The outcome? cultivation of no extreme expressions of despair or exhilarations. Mum asked why I had become so cold? And you told me that we cant be heartless; the heart is always there, just that the emotions go away...

But. Why are actions so misleading? the way i perceive, and oh tonnes of reasonings, culminates into an expectation, so much so if the routine does not occur any one day, the dream bubble bursts. :x

Its difficult to control the mind, especially one that wonders ever so freely. Gosh, im misfit?

If each of these santa hats could answer 1 Question... ...

ay//

awoke and realised
it might feel lonely, without you.
in time to come.



happiness when I hang out with 2 very genuine friends, we respect each other.
you feel the warmth of friendship in christmastime :)


ay-
you convince yourself it was not whatever you imagined it to be. x

Angel said - "thank me by not giving up on your module".

Its so Scary you dont know you're doing the right thing. everyone else on their own. and you know you're in this race alone. Gotta be strong, recalled what Mr Gary Neo told me - Never Ever lose faith in Yourself!


If Im lost, do you know where to find me?
The answer is in my posts.
Just in case, I got lost.
Oh thats so scary...



comeon AY.
You can do it.

Its 3 am.
I stroll; like i always do.
The ports in the South-
like the City that never sleeps.
The gentle breeze crawls up my legs
and twirl around my arms.
Tingling, like Peppermint.
Silhouettes-
flash by contours of my eyes.
Do the People not go away yet?
Oh! and I remember Im near the coasts.
flickering lights from the Ports
containers move, like sentosa's monorails.
1 level up,
I spot a road leading through the Port.
Its magnificient.
could the night linger
on and on and on
and People never went away.
Must I stay up only till then;
to witness this Solitary Beauty?
Why, am I the only to see?
the City never sleeps,
just that the people go away...
I can live my World
like this.

Now do you know why i dont hold high hopes at all? I dont.
I saw that second of disappointment in your face too when you came back with the report. and i felt i ought to encourage you and myself, and everyone that Its Alright. We'll work hard together, again! but. the truth has still hit so hard right?.
there was an impulse to shred it up:x
Its the last lecture but i didnt feel the way i should have.
sam said " but we have enjoyed the process, right:) ".
yes. but i wonder. is the process important, or the grade? when after all everything in uni determines that grade?
Both are as precious, ay. hold close to your heart.
I'll work very hard for my final essays. I'll work very hard.

When im emo, i eat. Ate 1 big bowl with happy friend seowhwee. and then, live goes on!
'viyondtoldmethat=)'

YOUCANDOIT, ANNAYEO!=)


youwentthewayinormallygo, buttodayIdidnt-.

oh well,
dang it...

youcandoit, AY!!!

WHAT MAKES YOU HAPPY?:)


The heartening thing that happened today was when guanyi gave me a hug when we met after sooooo long for his hiatus in army!

It was just me but it was alright because i know all of them too well, to be in their company. but there was a sucky thing i have done was that when amos approached me i retreated back and.. stumbled into a young girl - who complained to her mum =_= . Kids today... :X but i have apologised to both her and her mum! Nevertheless, the point is that I cant accept my unsporting act for retreating back. Im sorry.


ay.

The Biography Books we passed around in Primary 6 for friends and teachers to write on, were our "Facebook" back then.
do you remember??

Today, im impressed by what my friend told me the nice things people do to help their group mates. People who barely know each other.

I take a risk to restrain from virtual world for the sake of my studies.
I needa prioritise,
but somehow I fear letting go-
cos its too precious to lose.
Would you not stray, then?

Today, we scrutinised the perceptions of visiting sec students on us in NUS. They are are so vitalized with powerful minds. I do feel young like them, just that the circumstances aint longer the same.
I feel overwhelmed by the stuff I learnt today. And i cant retaliate, to counteract. For im not strong.
Push On ANNAYEO.
Dont give up.
Remember what your hated Baldy told you when you suppressed your tears of demoralisation:
"Never, lose faith in yourself".
I wished it was drilled and implanted within me to give me that strength.
Push On, ANNAYEO.





for the little things you, we do.