There is this Stand Up Camp organised by Southeast CDC under the Y2Y network. It spread over 3 days from friday to saturday...
i was like... omg! my weekends are GONE-D!!! just immediately after the harrowing blocktests.
It was a camp that emphasizes how important the issues we STAND UP FOR, and how we CAN make it come true. of course mine is : I stand up for the protection of the environment! haha! I attended with an open heart on friday at 4pm. The initial introductory briefings put me through a real struggling situation.
It just felt like shattered glass from a broken string, my tears flowed out of my overpouring eyes. Upon listening to the committment and effort i got to invest into this project. Its superb for SGC, its an excellent learning platform for me, but it was all simply Too Much for me to take I let everything out the moment i emerged from the room... ...
I was too detached, i was too stressed i forgot the hug my good friend limsoewhwee gave me in that split moment...
I know why i had cried. because this project is too impactful on me, but i just couldnt give anymore. its sad.
Today,
my takeaway from this 2nd day of camp is beyond anything i can learn from my school or the so-called outdoor learning. we began the day by designing our own tshirts with fabric crayons and pens!!! so nice! The organiser, my newfound idol, choreographed a drama performance for us!!! it was not like i had expected, in groups we would create a skit... She planned it for us, all we had to do was to carry it out with the precise emotions!! Do you know how much i had enjoyed through this process? This classy... Got-standard process! well, i'm simply awed with every act, every action that my idol (Nadia) extracted outta us.
In the closing scene, the two groups of people got together. we took turns to recite lines. Lines that impacted, lines that spoke truth. Lines that made my eye well upon reciting.
An honour i have in performing for an MP and fellow audiences in Marine parade community centre tommorow.
And i'm gonna miss this feeling.
This clause i so much believe in-
Stand Up and Stand Out.
Change begins with you.
Big dreams start with little steps
The voice of truth
Make a difference
Be somebody
Save the world
Don't give up on me
Come out of the dark
It only takes a spark
To get a fire going (omg! thsi phrase from my girlguide song!)
Dare you to move
We're all in this together
How many times can a man turn his head
Pretending not to see
How many dreams are left for dead
You could be happy
What about now?
Teach me how
Open you eyes, undo the seams
Share the love, i have a dream
You may say that I'm a dreamer
But
I'm not the only one.
and i wished mum and dad and my best friends could see me perform tomorrow. In the save-the earth shirt i have designed with my own hands and heart. To see the possibilities, and the magic they can bring.
ay.starsplash
and i never regretted:)
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Thursday, February 26, 2009
bio was so tough... :(
but i plan to go have a good good meal to suppress any uproaring emotions within...
eat and watch tv and i'll be fine...
I just havent put in my 100% efforts at all.
I know it.
I ought to knock myself AWAKE.
stop dreaming Anna YEO!
time to work hard, VERY HARD.
and i cant wait to return from chiang rai.
then i can settle down to work.
and to leave the rambles of my CCA.
which never fails to be a letdown brfore and after meetings... :(
BURGER KING, here i come!
i'm eating with cheryl low and pumpkin!:)
I'm not emoing, just that my home com exploded with a POM! sound when dad switched it on last week... no smoke but there was a pungent smell.. that's all! haha..
wont be online anytime soon...LOL!
ay//
but i plan to go have a good good meal to suppress any uproaring emotions within...
eat and watch tv and i'll be fine...
I just havent put in my 100% efforts at all.
I know it.
I ought to knock myself AWAKE.
stop dreaming Anna YEO!
time to work hard, VERY HARD.
and i cant wait to return from chiang rai.
then i can settle down to work.
and to leave the rambles of my CCA.
which never fails to be a letdown brfore and after meetings... :(
BURGER KING, here i come!
i'm eating with cheryl low and pumpkin!:)
I'm not emoing, just that my home com exploded with a POM! sound when dad switched it on last week... no smoke but there was a pungent smell.. that's all! haha..
wont be online anytime soon...LOL!
ay//
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Sunday, February 15, 2009
Its when i realised how fragile this relationship was.
There was no trust between us.
When mum claimed she had kept my pair of socks from the bamboo pole...
I couldnt take it in, because i wondered if she was merely trying to cover up for herself...
when 1 side of my sock might just have been flushed down the gully hole, or carried with the wind...
maybe i will never know the truth.
but it has erupted. my temper and fury, something i didnt control
when something so trivial happened to my new sock.
yeah, its just a sock. But it did mean somthing to me after all.
like i planned to buy it, my own money, for a purpose...
you just said you would pay me back the 3 bucks. but that hint of reluctance and i-did-nothing-wrong attitude was... overwhelming for me.
You blamed me for being utterly rude and unappreciative for all you have done! :(
mum, its a different issue.
how you take my SOCK so lightly it meant nothing to you.
anger cannot be consumed in a split moment.
even when you left, i feel the building up of anguish pushing against my chest.
but there was no point anymore.
because the confusion now, and the loneliness i might expereience for the coming days, will fill my tummy - to the brim.
and me taking an excuse to study every moment sitting there.
You always use this to spike me, to shoot me with.
i dont want it either...
are you appreciative of the hardwork i put in?
even though knowledge sometimes never gets materialised in my mind, i tried so hard.
why do you always blame me for studying?
...
mummy.
I know i'm still wrong.
but i'm certain words and music is what calms me down and protects me.
when i forgot the meaning of love.
It makes me stronger, for a moment.
There was no trust between us.
When mum claimed she had kept my pair of socks from the bamboo pole...
I couldnt take it in, because i wondered if she was merely trying to cover up for herself...
when 1 side of my sock might just have been flushed down the gully hole, or carried with the wind...
maybe i will never know the truth.
but it has erupted. my temper and fury, something i didnt control
when something so trivial happened to my new sock.
yeah, its just a sock. But it did mean somthing to me after all.
like i planned to buy it, my own money, for a purpose...
you just said you would pay me back the 3 bucks. but that hint of reluctance and i-did-nothing-wrong attitude was... overwhelming for me.
You blamed me for being utterly rude and unappreciative for all you have done! :(
mum, its a different issue.
how you take my SOCK so lightly it meant nothing to you.
anger cannot be consumed in a split moment.
even when you left, i feel the building up of anguish pushing against my chest.
but there was no point anymore.
because the confusion now, and the loneliness i might expereience for the coming days, will fill my tummy - to the brim.
and me taking an excuse to study every moment sitting there.
You always use this to spike me, to shoot me with.
i dont want it either...
are you appreciative of the hardwork i put in?
even though knowledge sometimes never gets materialised in my mind, i tried so hard.
why do you always blame me for studying?
...
mummy.
I know i'm still wrong.
but i'm certain words and music is what calms me down and protects me.
when i forgot the meaning of love.
It makes me stronger, for a moment.
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Thursday, February 12, 2009
dear Bloggy
i havent had the luxury to blog for a long long time... like. so many many thoughts streams through that stuffed mind, but i gotta push all of them to the very rears of my mind... that's so sad :( i feel like Everything.. just seem to have stripped me of my ability to express.. how words forgot to make its magic anymore. You know the consequences? of not penning down every single emotion you experience, you become a heartless person, and take things for granted, you forget what a simple kindness and beauty in life is.
These few daysrunning round a lot, it has been a great eye opener in the outside world, like @ sentosa with J1s, apart from the few walls that enclose Ny...
where i witnessed the beauty of many people, and disregarded the rest.
This is me. if you are nice to me, i would be nice to you. If you do not deserve my respect for, i 'll put you out of my sight, and i will not relate to you ever again.
I have imprinted in memory how the few arrogant OGLs and Student Councillors have marred their own righteous image. how they might have felt superior to the rest of nyjcians they became oblivious to their own ugly behaviors.
Yet.
Now i've known who the nice people are. Strangers whom you might have never spoken a word to, miraculously striked up a conversation with you... people around you who sacrificed a little, just to help make things right. Those who made an effort. :)
chunfui.april.vivian.stephanie.ita.peixin.susan.xinhui.randy.and many many mnay other new friends!!! These are some of the councillors i would have smiled to when i passby, again... my ReD Cross pals whom i cannot express my gratitude enough, they deserve a reward real big. The new friends i have made - through my Friends.
I'm disillusioned by the extreme cases of people who exist... its like a black splotch on a white paper.
I'm touched by my class too. 0802! we all sit together now, occupyng the entire canteen table!:)
i'm touched by this happy scene today,
hanquan (a quiet shy guy in my class) was like asking if there were new chem notes just when the bell has gone... and desmond was complaing " why just now you dont go photostat now then you ask!!! blah blah!!!!...... aiya you go go photostat.... i take your bag for you!!!!" aint that sweet!!!!!! omg!!!! it was like he was taking care of hanquan like a lil' brother!!!! , when hanquan always seemed to eb left out... ah... that's so sweet! see, there's beauty in my classmates! :)
It cant be helped. How overtime one's 'devils-within-them' are eventually rudely awakened. Probably time reveals one's true colours.. (but no difference for me, i have always been fierce! haha!) i choose to be oblivious. some people think they are the best! but deep within, i shun away from them. i dont understand why some people would just doubt the sincerity of another...
It aint true.
These all aint true.
i havent been great either.
I have just upset my Friend Guanyi, by backing out of a gathering he has organised for our clique on Valentines Day. Yes, its Vday. yet the crucial time is drawing near for all the tests and whatsoever I'm going bonkers. How many fatigued days i've sufferred in school, on the verge of my head collapsing yet there's nothing i could do to alleviate those excalating pressures than to sleep. I'm so guilty he got so upset today, because the girls planned to back out. A part of me blamed him for not understanding - that we are in J2, but he is having orientation games.. But but. what i have done isnt it just a replica of the bxxx who adopted the practice - one dont go, all dont go - gang? But i cant do that. He is our Great friend, GREAT YIR. My Good Friend.
We'll make up for it soon. after this month, i promise.
Do you realise the hype about Vday is so much stronger this year? probably because i'm already in J2, big already LOL... but. isnt it just another day for.. ahem.. 'guai' people like me and myfriends? we would be studying hard on that day. Concentrating. Yet people around me are asking what plans do i have... No plans. :) and i'm fine with that... :) i dont know what's the big surprise they get when they hear - "NO PLans!!! but its VDAY!!!" well, i guess i havent learnt how important that day is yet.. haha... its a complicated day i must say... XD
Greeny's yearly gathering on 12.10.2007 is so much more significant!!!!
yesterday's CCA bazaar, i put in every ounce of my efforts. I recited my script for like 50 times, promoting red Cross to individual groups of people.. the other red crossers didnt know what to say... so i did the talking wholly.. omg!!! i can memorise it without having a script now la.. so much so that i'm so familiar with it i rattled on like a bullet train i guess the poor j1s' ears must have been contorted by my squeaky, rapid ramblings... i pulled in 21 people! I'm proud of that!!! yesterday, i was desperate for 20 names, my target.. but when it reached 20, i aint happy. because other CCAs got 40 over...
my rc pal susan told me: we dont compare with others!!!!!
See? the greed in me is never satiated.
I wish to tell you. That this whole year that i've helmed red cross, every moment was in a blur, i dont know if i've done right or wrong, just that i'm P, i got to do it. Its my first time taking complete hold. Give me a chance, let me learn. Even if no one else is willing, i cannot let it fall. I got to know everything that's going on. know more than any other. Yet i must crdit my faithful pals susan, peixin, xinhui, stephanie ita and angie whom i always turn to when i need manpower. These are the people i respect. i treat them as leaders. i'm grateful that despite the small numbers of committed members i've got, they put in so much effort to help me to make every event a success.. I'll write each of them a precious note when nearing step down. and i might cry.
YEAH!!! ist thurdsay!! i've slept and rested, i'll start studying and catching up on all my backlog tonight, tmr ( no school!!!!) and the weekend!!!:) jiayou!!!
happy Valentine's DAY FRIENDS!!!!!!!
if this day is significant to you! haha!
LOVE; AY.STARSPLASH <3
today - one glimpse.
i havent had the luxury to blog for a long long time... like. so many many thoughts streams through that stuffed mind, but i gotta push all of them to the very rears of my mind... that's so sad :( i feel like Everything.. just seem to have stripped me of my ability to express.. how words forgot to make its magic anymore. You know the consequences? of not penning down every single emotion you experience, you become a heartless person, and take things for granted, you forget what a simple kindness and beauty in life is.
These few daysrunning round a lot, it has been a great eye opener in the outside world, like @ sentosa with J1s, apart from the few walls that enclose Ny...
where i witnessed the beauty of many people, and disregarded the rest.
This is me. if you are nice to me, i would be nice to you. If you do not deserve my respect for, i 'll put you out of my sight, and i will not relate to you ever again.
I have imprinted in memory how the few arrogant OGLs and Student Councillors have marred their own righteous image. how they might have felt superior to the rest of nyjcians they became oblivious to their own ugly behaviors.
Yet.
Now i've known who the nice people are. Strangers whom you might have never spoken a word to, miraculously striked up a conversation with you... people around you who sacrificed a little, just to help make things right. Those who made an effort. :)
chunfui.april.vivian.stephanie.ita.peixin.susan.xinhui.randy.and many many mnay other new friends!!! These are some of the councillors i would have smiled to when i passby, again... my ReD Cross pals whom i cannot express my gratitude enough, they deserve a reward real big. The new friends i have made - through my Friends.
I'm disillusioned by the extreme cases of people who exist... its like a black splotch on a white paper.
I'm touched by my class too. 0802! we all sit together now, occupyng the entire canteen table!:)
i'm touched by this happy scene today,
hanquan (a quiet shy guy in my class) was like asking if there were new chem notes just when the bell has gone... and desmond was complaing " why just now you dont go photostat now then you ask!!! blah blah!!!!...... aiya you go go photostat.... i take your bag for you!!!!" aint that sweet!!!!!! omg!!!! it was like he was taking care of hanquan like a lil' brother!!!! , when hanquan always seemed to eb left out... ah... that's so sweet! see, there's beauty in my classmates! :)
It cant be helped. How overtime one's 'devils-within-them' are eventually rudely awakened. Probably time reveals one's true colours.. (but no difference for me, i have always been fierce! haha!) i choose to be oblivious. some people think they are the best! but deep within, i shun away from them. i dont understand why some people would just doubt the sincerity of another...
It aint true.
These all aint true.
i havent been great either.
I have just upset my Friend Guanyi, by backing out of a gathering he has organised for our clique on Valentines Day. Yes, its Vday. yet the crucial time is drawing near for all the tests and whatsoever I'm going bonkers. How many fatigued days i've sufferred in school, on the verge of my head collapsing yet there's nothing i could do to alleviate those excalating pressures than to sleep. I'm so guilty he got so upset today, because the girls planned to back out. A part of me blamed him for not understanding - that we are in J2, but he is having orientation games.. But but. what i have done isnt it just a replica of the bxxx who adopted the practice - one dont go, all dont go - gang? But i cant do that. He is our Great friend, GREAT YIR. My Good Friend.
We'll make up for it soon. after this month, i promise.
Do you realise the hype about Vday is so much stronger this year? probably because i'm already in J2, big already LOL... but. isnt it just another day for.. ahem.. 'guai' people like me and myfriends? we would be studying hard on that day. Concentrating. Yet people around me are asking what plans do i have... No plans. :) and i'm fine with that... :) i dont know what's the big surprise they get when they hear - "NO PLans!!! but its VDAY!!!" well, i guess i havent learnt how important that day is yet.. haha... its a complicated day i must say... XD
Greeny's yearly gathering on 12.10.2007 is so much more significant!!!!
yesterday's CCA bazaar, i put in every ounce of my efforts. I recited my script for like 50 times, promoting red Cross to individual groups of people.. the other red crossers didnt know what to say... so i did the talking wholly.. omg!!! i can memorise it without having a script now la.. so much so that i'm so familiar with it i rattled on like a bullet train i guess the poor j1s' ears must have been contorted by my squeaky, rapid ramblings... i pulled in 21 people! I'm proud of that!!! yesterday, i was desperate for 20 names, my target.. but when it reached 20, i aint happy. because other CCAs got 40 over...
my rc pal susan told me: we dont compare with others!!!!!
See? the greed in me is never satiated.
I wish to tell you. That this whole year that i've helmed red cross, every moment was in a blur, i dont know if i've done right or wrong, just that i'm P, i got to do it. Its my first time taking complete hold. Give me a chance, let me learn. Even if no one else is willing, i cannot let it fall. I got to know everything that's going on. know more than any other. Yet i must crdit my faithful pals susan, peixin, xinhui, stephanie ita and angie whom i always turn to when i need manpower. These are the people i respect. i treat them as leaders. i'm grateful that despite the small numbers of committed members i've got, they put in so much effort to help me to make every event a success.. I'll write each of them a precious note when nearing step down. and i might cry.
YEAH!!! ist thurdsay!! i've slept and rested, i'll start studying and catching up on all my backlog tonight, tmr ( no school!!!!) and the weekend!!!:) jiayou!!!
happy Valentine's DAY FRIENDS!!!!!!!
if this day is significant to you! haha!
LOVE; AY.STARSPLASH <3
today - one glimpse.
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I'm so tired I'd get emo.
ay.starsplash.
recently i feel like i'm collapsing from all the pressures...
I bought a new journal,
a cute pretty one.
hopefully it will make me happier.
I'm waiting for someone to recite the short verses of story in Chinese to me.
tell me why.
do i see so much of these glimpses
Do not appear anymore
If, .... If this aint real.
sorry, emo xxx
ay//
ay.starsplash.
recently i feel like i'm collapsing from all the pressures...
I bought a new journal,
a cute pretty one.
hopefully it will make me happier.
I'm waiting for someone to recite the short verses of story in Chinese to me.
tell me why.
do i see so much of these glimpses
Do not appear anymore
If, .... If this aint real.
sorry, emo xxx
ay//
Friday, February 6, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Happy things happened in school on Monday.
i do not have the luxury of blogging anymore... like how i got to really squeeze all these nitty gritties of life to the very rear of my mind.
Monday morning, school started at 8.30 for all.. and all the Greenies met at the usual place, the AMK HUB in NYJC!!!! before assembly :)))))) i was so happy... it appears amk hub is really drifting away, but today all of us made it!!! cheryl low proclaimed: AMK HUB WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AS SHE WILL BE THERE! :) before i left i said: we'll meet next MONDAY; bu jian bu san!!!! :)))))) and cheryl low gave me a big bear hug! one so warm it melted the rest of my day, i was so happy! =)
Furthermore, the J1s reported to school that very monday... as i was complaining to mum the night before: tmr our exclusivity in sch will be breached when the j1s arrive... :( and every corner of the school will be crowded by people, and the canteen will be so crowded!!!! omg.
But that day, i was looking up all the stairs, searching for Greenies, here, there everywhere, counting each and everyone of them! Even though i know not many of them, those stranger faces, yet all too familiar to me in that prominent uniform... :) i counted every green that i could spot! and it amounted to over 10!!! i was so happy the entire day, i was literally hyped up for several hours...
before i utilised all my energy in me, i lost it, only to doze off in GP lesson.. haha...
recently, i have been hyper suddenly for awhile, and then feeling so exhausted later on in the day...
today CCA got me so stressed i bulldozed home, bulldozed through my CCA, so much so that when my classmates called out to me from above, i blatantly looked up and then looked away! I'm so sorry! haiz... they, who aint willing to sacrifice and commit to this CCA. I guess i wouldnt be doing this much, if not for me being the President. I feel like.. its all my responsibility, and that i'm doing a part of Everything, all too much... =X
Mum says its alright, i'm doing it for myself.
I wouldnt be blogging for a long time now, till something really significant appears again.. :)
like..
like something simple, that could really make me happy,
and cheerful for the rest of the day!
smiling will give me wrinkles, Mr Neo said...
but I'm happy to smile! :)
and i really wish to share the happy moments with you,
if time allows....
love, AY!
guanyi has returned to school and is taking BIO!!!!! i brought food to school everyday for everyone! haha! osle to chiangrai during amrch hols... One step at a time. :)
i do not have the luxury of blogging anymore... like how i got to really squeeze all these nitty gritties of life to the very rear of my mind.
Monday morning, school started at 8.30 for all.. and all the Greenies met at the usual place, the AMK HUB in NYJC!!!! before assembly :)))))) i was so happy... it appears amk hub is really drifting away, but today all of us made it!!! cheryl low proclaimed: AMK HUB WILL ALWAYS BE THERE AS SHE WILL BE THERE! :) before i left i said: we'll meet next MONDAY; bu jian bu san!!!! :)))))) and cheryl low gave me a big bear hug! one so warm it melted the rest of my day, i was so happy! =)
Furthermore, the J1s reported to school that very monday... as i was complaining to mum the night before: tmr our exclusivity in sch will be breached when the j1s arrive... :( and every corner of the school will be crowded by people, and the canteen will be so crowded!!!! omg.
But that day, i was looking up all the stairs, searching for Greenies, here, there everywhere, counting each and everyone of them! Even though i know not many of them, those stranger faces, yet all too familiar to me in that prominent uniform... :) i counted every green that i could spot! and it amounted to over 10!!! i was so happy the entire day, i was literally hyped up for several hours...
before i utilised all my energy in me, i lost it, only to doze off in GP lesson.. haha...
recently, i have been hyper suddenly for awhile, and then feeling so exhausted later on in the day...
today CCA got me so stressed i bulldozed home, bulldozed through my CCA, so much so that when my classmates called out to me from above, i blatantly looked up and then looked away! I'm so sorry! haiz... they, who aint willing to sacrifice and commit to this CCA. I guess i wouldnt be doing this much, if not for me being the President. I feel like.. its all my responsibility, and that i'm doing a part of Everything, all too much... =X
Mum says its alright, i'm doing it for myself.
I wouldnt be blogging for a long time now, till something really significant appears again.. :)
like..
like something simple, that could really make me happy,
and cheerful for the rest of the day!
smiling will give me wrinkles, Mr Neo said...
but I'm happy to smile! :)
and i really wish to share the happy moments with you,
if time allows....
love, AY!
guanyi has returned to school and is taking BIO!!!!! i brought food to school everyday for everyone! haha! osle to chiangrai during amrch hols... One step at a time. :)