hmm... haha
may things get fine!
i dont know why,
but i really declared it that day...
i think i went bonkers and disorientated...
but since i said it (oh no!) i shall see
how it goes.
=)
ay.starsplash
my blogger has problems....

so, here are few pics, long awited, stupid blogger!!!! XXXXX
one of my rarest not emo posts!!! better enjoy!!!!!!!! hahaha

THIS WAS GUANYI'S FAVOURITE ANIMAL, THE BAT!!! HE LOVES WATCHING THEM EAT THE WATERMELONA ND FIGHT, DESPITE THE PERSISTENT RAIN HE STOOD TEHRE FOR 15 MINUTES WATCHING THE HERBIVOROUS BATS!! HAHAHA
I WAS BORED....




I SAW A FUNGI GROWING ON THE ROCK!!!!!!! MINGWEI TEH FUNGI MUST AHVE PLANTED IT THERE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




THE MISERABLE 1 OF 3 WHITE TIGERS THAT WALKS IN CIRCLES IN THE ENCLOSURE, I DONT WANT TO BE A TIGER...




HA! THE ATTENDENCE PHOTO! I DONT KNOW WHY WE LOOK SO SERIOUS!! HAHA, THE HIGHLIGHT WAS THE UNIQUE TOTEM POLES IN THE BACKGROUND WHICH I LIKE!!!!



LOOK AT THIS CUTE PORCUPINE!!!1 NOTHING LIKE THE ESPLANADE THOUGH... OMG, ITS SO SMART YOU KNOW, IT SHRED THE APPLE SKIN BEFORE EATING!!!!!!



THE LION KING STAR!!! THE WARTOG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



MY FAVOURITE ANIMAL!!!! SEE ITS NOSE SO CUTE!!!!!!!! NIBBLING AT GRASS!!!




SO HERE THEY ARE, 1 CHINA WOMAN SAYS THEY HOP LIKE ZOMBIES.... LOLOL!!!!!!




OHOH SO CUTE! LOOK AT ITS EAR WHICH I FLICKED!!!! IT LOVES ME!!!!! HAHA, I SAW ITS SHIT ALL OVER THE FIELD!!!!! BLACK! LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!!!
THEIR ONE LEAP I S13 METRES!!!!!!! FROM AMKSS TO AMK HUB!!!!!!!!!
LOL!!!!!!!!!!!! I IMAGINED STANDING BROAD JUMP!!!!!!! HAHAHAHA





GUESS WHAT IS THIS!!!!!





NOW YOU SEE IT NOW YOU DONT!




BA BABOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!




THE COLURFUL MONSTER!~!!! UPCLOSEE!!!!

GUNAYI ALMOST PUT OUT HIS HAND TO TOUCH IT IN THE FREE ROAMING REPTILE PARK!!!

AND I SCOLDED HIM - THERE WAS A SIGN THAT SAYS DO NOT TOUCH THEM LEST THEY BITE!!!!!

THE DINOSAURS ARE REVIVING ...








you are back!
ay.starsplash

so tired after zoo! i shall upload the photos next time... haha...
there's school tomorrow!
study chem test tmr!
do apgp tutorial tmr!
do homoeostasis tutorial tmr!
i'm naming it so i wont procrastinate!
byebye!

zoo! tomorrow!
study study! shoo!












thetagxxx

dear bloggy,
today was GP exam, my studies for GP (though many labelled me siao for studying GP), didnt go to waste! =) and i declare school holidays have begun! its as though, a break from school, for me to stop progressing but to catch up on my studies and tie up the frayed ends, the goals to overcome math and bio. =) LETS DO IT!!! and of course, play!

yesterday i returned to my alma mater dear for council investiture. after persistence persuading by dear MONSY, i went! haha, i simply changed into half u, locked the door, and zoom!!! off i am on the bus to AMKSS! it seemed as though i was going for a visit to the market..., that kinda parallel comparison of familiarity and convenience...
there, I FULFILLED MY TASK. the task that i have publicly declared and vowed to, that i would spread my Glory of greenies. and i did! i literally ran from one teacher to the next, exclaiming! how proud i am of fellow amksians.
You know something? i relentlessly proclaim my prudence of amksians. but do you know why? it is that we are being recognised. us, together, soaring. and maybe it aint enough, maybe it is that i want to publicise the roots of our successes?
fungi, auri and i went after Mr tan chee siong and i called out
" Mr tan! i want you to know taht i am so proud of amksians, and that AMKSS breeds the leaders."
"why do you say that?".... .... ... ....
and dear motherly mrs lai said - i'm so proud of all of you.
and then i answered - i'm so proud of amksians! =)
then she patted my face! =), its the kinda joy we feel, inexplicable.
i wonder if he would ever tell the school the GREAT words i have said. Several months ago sitting on the red parade ground, i would ahve thought he made up these great sentences to awe us. maybe i shouldnt have percieved... ...

During today's magic lesson for OSLE, i was restless and brain blocked. i couldnt remember anything the trainer said, just that he spoke many phrases of life experiences which couldnt register into my thick head. i was exhausted.
and - those six mesaages. you should have told me to read one a day, but i didnt know and i opened them all simultaneously!!! the second last one. made me think. it suddenly seemed like something is lost. as though an emotional pillar is lost. though i never tell you stuffs anymore, your presence might have become a norm, that it is thus different without so... sometimes i wished we were like the past when we crapped and nothing was real. virtual? no, reality made us distant. and that was what i was afriad of, that nothing was gonna happen, because of me, but by then it would have become all too routine for me, it becomes so sad... ...

today i talked to kianlam for so long, after so long, on msn... he used to be the one to call me and irritate me for 4 years!!! now i dont hear form him for months, though i might forever be too busy to talk to you, or even scold you when i'm studying and you still blabber on and on, I LOVE YOU MY FRIEND!!!! i missed you so much!!!! and i swear that everytime without fail i walked through that side gate of NY to the coffee shop, i look up at your hosue unit in the prominet block WITHOUT FAIL! because i know a GOOD FRIEND IS so near. =) and i will hold on to that. =) i want to see lovely carline and dear lam on my birthday again! last year they came to my house's playground =) the sweetest friends ever...
=)
byebye!
ay.starsplash.imissyou.
*GREENIES!*

AH! WHY YOU READING BLOGS?
YOU SHOULD BE STUDYING!!!!
SHOO!

ITS A GREENY DAY!=)

yes yes, when i see them walk up the stage, i thought -
FUNGI HAS GROWN UP INTO A REAL MAN!!!! hahah
AND RANDY BRO - KEEP THINGS GOING!
and when i saw you going up, well. that's what you are now, i was too disillusioned by how you might have forgotten us.
the scene where you held up the placard high, will HAUNT me forever.
why did you do that?
dear cheryl, we'll always be there, yes? with open arms. =)
but mine has been tightly bound, that i wont dare touch her ever again.
she is my friend, as long as i can remember.

first of all, i'm so glad so many people came here to encourage me on.
the Ex president of red cross gave me a lil' short note, explaining why i was chosen, what she aspires to see our batch do, the faith she holds in me.
I'll try my very best.



today is an emo day. i knew i had to keep quiet and stuff everything within my little soul, like the heart of a cuddly compressible teddy bear... i went to Macdonalds with randy bro and mingwei after school. despite all the STARES, senseless stares that overlook a true friendship... i sat silenetly felt like crying. everytime my eye wells i will look down and occupy myself with something. did you feel it? i merely said little lesser than i used to, and my friends realised that i was - emo. fine. then after i received my bio, i felt much worse.
No, it's not because i failed my bio test, because everything just wasnt right anymore. Gp, what happened to my english. Math, i was a noob for i couldnt calculate! what else? there's more to come. My Friend cried because she got 1/2 mark less than me, i had 12.5 upon 30 for math. but i thought - it's okay, i can buck up. why? because i dont give a damn? is it because i care no more? During bio, 'i cannot give up from here, i can do it', raced across my mind as i stared at my 'Wonderful' marks. 15/40. then at mac i lost everything. it felt like its too much, i cant do it, everyone here is facing the same predicament, i'm just one fo them...
but i'm not. i cant lead their life. =(

i just wanted to go home and cry. i wont be like my friend to cry in school. but at the soya bean shop i just felt its alright to do it in fronta my friends, my devilish-mind... ... nevermind, i'm at home now, i'm safe.
i want to study for GP on friday. is there a point? i thought hanging out with GREENies will mask my emo. but today i dont know why i couldnt contain anymore. and i just showed you all my black face. =(
sorry!



PUMPKIN IS IN TOP 3 OF SOCCER!!!!
GODDESSSSSS AURIIIIII IS THE CAPTAIN FOR JUDO GIRLS!
I'M THE PRESIDENT FOR RED CROSS!
SURONG - THE MUSCULAR MONSY IS CAPTAIN FOR DRAGON BOAT GIRLS!!!!!!
GUANYIR!!!!! - IS THE PRESIDENT OF CCS!!!

CHERYL TAN OUR BELOVED HASH IS THE PRESIDENT OF JOURNALISM!
RANDY BRO IS A COUNCILLOR!!!
FUNGI THE BIG HEAD IS A COUNCILLOR!!!
LILAN IS A COUNCILLOR!
who else who else.
do you know why i'm so proud of amksians now?
everytime i see them there, i just feel like clapping and smiling at them,
that WE ARE GREENIES.
we're special.
i have to tell Mr tan chee siong that.
i promise i will.
=)

ay.starsplash.greenyamksian.
i'll be fine!

stupid vice made me so angry early in the morning.
that i couldnt understand chem energetics!
in the end i got to solve EVERYTHING on my own.
sucker!
feel so pissed.
made me wanna scream at you!!!!!!
but i got to maintain my composture for a few weeks, before i show my true colours and be FIRECE with you all! and stare at you!
you'd die - suffer under my hands!
slackers!
luckily i'm at teh top, then i hold the key to everything!
stupid!
huh!


next week got to study hard!!!!
let's go sentosa and the zooo!!!
and guanyi said my birthday go botanica gardens!!!
hahahha!!!
anything!
haha

i'm so so so excited!
ay.starsplash
dont make me SCREAM at you!

today i had such an exciting day!
WOOEeeeeeee!
sch ended at 3.30pm, so i took 133 to amk pizza hut with pumpkin - peiqi and egg - cheryl low, first time eating there...it was 4pm. then ordered and waited for food to come... 4.30pm, then i gobbled soup and pepsi and 1 slice of pan pizza,.... 4.40pm...
then i dabaoed the 3 other slices into my spare plastic bag and rushed out of teh restaurant...
pumpkin helped me fill my bottle with pepesi! haha...
then i waited for 10 minutes for 853 to return back to school for OSLE magic course at 5pm...
since the bus took so long, i ran into the restaurant to apologise to pumpkin, to trouble ehr to help pay for my meal first.... tehn i rushed out before teh bus arrived...
then i alighted from 853 and missed a step at sch bus stop!
i screamed AHHHHHH!!!!
luckily the road was NOISY, no body heard, cause there were 3 persons at the bus stop whom i know.
so they merely looked up and i smiled to them...
clumsy me! lol! luckily i didnt sprain my leg another time.
then i wlaked like for 2.4!!! and i was perspiring all over.
then reach there, only jingke was in teh classroom...
dumbo!
everyone came at 5.30, except me and afew others who listened to the teacher to come at 5pm...
my squashed pizza...
=(
never ate pizza so quickly in my life before...
haiz... didnt enjoy my 6.90 worth of dinner... haha.....
sorry, tmr go sch LONG LONG day!
goodnight!
ay.starsplash.magicmagic!
i can turn you into a toad!

passion is the driving force of success.
without passion, i wont do it well. i wont even commit myself to it.
i know, i can confirm that i wont be putting in my 100%, for this cca... that is too trivial to capture my attention. dont waste my time.


today i lost my appetitie.
even though my bag was stuffed with 3 types of sweets, sweet tastes did not drown my confusion while i dazed in the bus home.
i just feel like giving up. forgetting everything, forgetting that sweets were my Life! ...

i cant quit anymore.
i dont want to serve something i dont have passion in.
i cried at my desk. then why did i perform the interview so well? i didnt even prepare a speech, because i didnt give a damn about this sucky cca. no, i just. i cant quit anymore, i'm jsut so depressed. now i got to settle the entire cca. Gosh.
ANNA THE BIG NOOB - WHAT HAVE YOU DONE? ITS A CURSE, YOU DONT WANT IT YET YOU GOT IT.
mum actually psychoed me not to fight for it anymore. but i was so perplexed that i went to sit beside MONSY during assembly, and she pushed me on, taught me to Fight for it. so , i got it.
Monsy is the CAPTAIN of her dragon BOAT of girls. I'M SO SO SO PROUD OF HER!
and guanyi is the president of chinese cultural society! and cheryl tan is the president of journalism! maybe JJ will be the president of Guitar! maybe auri shall be the capatin of judo...

all i can remember was goddess auri leading us in Girl Guides.
the never faltering Goddess. where are you now to lead me on? =(
what is red cross? its just blood and first aid. while girl guides are all rounders. there's not even footdrills, where does the discipline go? and the teacher seems to have an attitude face. wth.
i cant lead. i wont lead.
i can only follow instructions and fulfil my duties well. i'm gonna be a hated president, one who slacks and is a WHITE ELEPHANT. but do i care? no, i dont. because i never intended to stay in this cca. i joined, merely to learn first aid, not to manage the entire cca, and TRANSFORM IT FROM A SLACK CCA TO ONE THAT IS RESPECTED, like goddess auri and US amksians did for AMKSS GIRL GUIDES! TILL what it is today.
Its different.
i want to cry.
that means i have to forgo my beloved service learning committee. that i can only do just this much now for the community. i'm trapped in this bloody mess. i'm a noob. =(


the only thing that REALLY CHEERED ME UP THIS GLOOMY NIGHT WAS THAT THE ENTIRE YANG FAMILY OF US GOT THE HIGH POST. THAT MAKES US AMKSIANS SO VERY PROUD. THAT WE HAVE THE ABILITY TO OUTSHINE THE REST. yes. we made it.
GREENY amksians. yir cheered me up!
but just this much... ...

i feel so lost still.
i should be happy.
but it just balances here and there, i feel nothing anymore.
i'm so so looking forward to SUNDAY. no backing out!!! XD
is that the only reason that makes me look forward?
Let it be , Then.























my dear dear friends, if i become a bitch and order people around, if i scold people or flare up for no reason. if my mood swings 720 degrees, if i dwindle in my school work. if i emo and emo and emo.
if i keep crying.
will you please shake me up and scream at me to wake up?
=(
last time monsy was beside me, but she didnt know. i want you all to know now...













ay.starsplash.i'm just a noob.

Its mother's day!
and i shant leave mum alone at home this peaceful sunday! even though i really wanna go out study too!
sorry fungi!!!!
anyway, this year's mother's day seems to have aroused much more hype then previous years...
haha!
even though i didnt hug mum, and i contemplated SO SO SO long whether to go out or not, i chose to stay at home to accompany her, so my conscience is clear alright!!! haha!
see, i care!
after the entire morning of research, i'm gonna study now!!!!!
till i blog again,
ay.starsplash.
happy mothers' day!

and its PUMPKIN HO"S BIRTHDAY TMR!!!!
LETS GO SCHOOL EARLY, AT 8.20AM TO SING HER A LOUD BIRTHDAY SONG ALRIGHT!
XDXDXDXD
i have this amazing idea, LOL!!! that during my birthday bash this year!!! (as if i will organise! haha!) the theme shall be Our Beloved Green uniforms!!!!hahahha!!! that'll be so COOL!!! barbequing in our green uniforms! lol!!!!
okay, back from space.
byebye!
=)

yeah!!! for once our PW is going smoothly, teavhers did not reject or criticise, but guided us along to improve on it!!!!!!!! after so long!!!! XD
my motivation is refuelled!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
=)

so many things occurred in school today.
i laid foot into NY's amk hub, and cheryl exclaimed
" anna!!! we should have worn our green uniforms today..."
me: "huh, green uniform?!!!!"
foolish me.
it was be yourself day today.
if i werent this ignorant, i wouldnt forget friday, today, was be yourself day. i wouldnt have missed this chance to wear my beloved green uniform again.
even if someone had reminded me late last night, i wouldnt hesitate to pick up the phone to dial the familiar numbers, to remind ALL of them, to wear the AMKSIAN uniform.
but
its gone.
we'll have to wait till... next year?
i was so sad i teared.
but cheryl low and monsy were the ones beside me who made sure it didnt fall.

strangers saw right through.
not the way they decipher truth, from lies...

then i met huiru after school.
we sat at the grandstand and watched our heroine monsy run and run and run.
she confided in me that she cried twice. because we could attend Overseas Learning Expedition chiang rai (OSLE), but she could not. how much she desires to go. how i wished she could attend with me, for an amksian to stand beside me when the going gets tough.
Yet, we wont get what we want. how i wanna hug her, to tell her not to worry. the ironic thing is that the dao-ish me only got to know her this year, to talk to her-heartfelt. My new friend.

i sat outside the libary with guanyi for 2 hours after school. i realised i was so worried for him when i heard from cheryl low that he got into trouble with the school. i realised i care alot for my friends. i hope he wouldnt feel so disappointed. Even though teachers say that they cant trust you anymore, we got to pick up the pieces and move on.
for they are not the only shadows that appear in our lives..

at OSLE meeting, i made new friends and learnt magic. its a new skill. XD
i'm gonna flaunt it on monday morning!

tomorrow cca!!!! to see the innocent and cheerful kids one last time before my schdule ends. =( i will miss them. how a hangman game can them all exhilarated and looking forward to lessons. how they play with me. how the lil' girl comes to me... i realised i do like kids. maybe i'd go be a primary school teacher... =) i cant help but smile at their innocent fearful silence and chubbyness! ha.

ay.starsplash.studystudy!
i'm gonna fail math test.

oh yea
one more thing.
i just didnt talk, and yet mum chided me for being emo...
blahblah...
i dont talk anymore.
=(
maybe i'm always just spouting nonsense all along.
haiz... parents wont know the reasons of any emo...!
blah.

i'm so exhausted!
i realised exhaustion can strip me off the ability to notice everything around me.
i just sleep and sleep.
soon i will become a hermit.
=(
ay.starsplash.exhaustionkills!

do you know you have the ability, the capability
to make me remorseful and guilty,
like no other people have done.
clashes;
i dont wish to explain-
forget it...


in the morning.
yesterday i went queensway with huiru and peiqi and r.bro and fungi and bought my new sports shoes!
yea! so nice!!! purplish... so sweet.. haha...(jk!)
anyway.
i ate alot alot yesterday.
alot.
at queensway.
then at ikea.
then at chinatown!
wow...
must not eat anymore today to run for 2.4 tmr!
yea!!! i passed my 5 items!!!
its the energy boost!!!!
from the ice lemon tea i drank early in the morning!!!!!
the sugar burst!
believe me okay!
=)
every morning i awake, and its as though ...
another nightmare begins in the day...
then the mechanical machine works, its routine labour...
oh man! its dreadful...
then the day runs away...
but we are brave, we can defeat the devils.
so i'll try to be happy in school.
=)












ay.starsplash.
lets forget it then.